Po Bronson, best-selling author and proud parent of two, and whoco-wrote NurtureShock with AshleyMerryman, challenges the wisdom that proper parental instincts magically appearfor first-time parents. “Really, the actual instinctthe biological drive thatkicks inis the fierce impulse to nurture and protect one’s child. Expectingparents can rely on this impulse kicking inbut as for how best to nurture, they have to figure it out,” Bronson says in theintroduction of the book.
Many parents will undoubtedly roll their eyes when hearing NurtureShock described as “a book thatreveals, in spite of good intentions, that the parenting skills being practicedon children may be counter-acting the very morals and lessons they’re trying toinstill.”
Yet another book telling them how they got it wrong?
However, instead of pointing fingers, this book paints a vivid pictureof what it is parents and caregivers may not see in their children’s behavioras a result of myths passed down from previous generations and outdatedscientific studies.
“Over the last 10 years, a new branch of psychology has emerged. Ratherthan studying clinical patients with pathologies, these scientists have appliedtheir skills to studying healthy, happy people who thrive, in order to discernwhat were the habits, values, and neuroscience of those with greaterwell-being,” Bronson says.
The truth is, instead of employing scientifically based psychologicalfindings, many books simply regurgitate the opinions of pop-culture trends.
Bronson notes that despite the negative image of teens, forexamplebased on a study conducted in the mid-1970s done exclusively ontroubled teensthere are more teens today than ever before that volunteer, arepolitically active and applying to college. “Pop psychology, fueled by the newexplosion of self-help publishing, continued to pump out the message that theteen years are a period of storm and stress,” Bronson says, “and certainly, formany, they are… But for the next two decades, the social scientists keptchurning out data that showed traumatic adolescence was the exception, not thenorm.”
NurtureShock covers an assortment of timely and valuable topicsthat plague the minds of parents and affect the lives of children: the problemwith praising your children too much; the cost of less sleep: IQ points,emotional well-being, ADHD and obesity; the reasons kids lie; race and skincolorchildren recognize the difference whether parents address it or not; IQtests: art vs. science; why siblings really fight; teen rebelliontheir needfor respect and their constructive arguments with parents; the tools forself-control; playing well with others; and why some children begin to talksooner than others.
This book serves as a navigational guide, taking you on archaeologicaldigs into the minds of children and unearthing studies so fascinating it makesyou wonder if the book is one big trick question, an elaborate display ofreverse psychology.
Although there are a number of facts and studies to juggle for eachchapter, the book is an easy and intriguing read. The authors’ writing style issophisticated yet playful, at some points carrying the reader through the bookas though by storytelling, with an upbeat, transparent and humble approach tounderstanding the new findings on child psychology.
