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Multiple Worlds Theory

Jun. 19, 2011
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Faulty logic is that all Slovenians pray to Mary
          and I pray to Mary
          so I must be Slovenian

Or something like that
Either way someone’s going to hell if you’re married in that church

God spent one of those days separating the wet from the dry
And there’s no alternate world where my family’d miss an open bar

Paradox:

Dividing the volume drank—as determined by pint—
By the time taken—measured by the bar’s clock—is called proper drunk

If an uncle drinks faster than the speed of light
then said uncle will black out before he starts drinking

Example: Jonny wanted a rocket or maybe a time machine
             And his uncle wasn’t an astronaut—just emphysema’d






Jonathan Lohr reigned over Milwaukee while studying poetry at UWM. After deposition and forced exile, he’s been granted temporary amnesty at Miami University of Ohio and will soon flee to Temple University in Philadelphia. He is still scheming with Keith Gaustad’s Teppichfresser Press for a Charlesian restoration.

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