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Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird

Nov. 23, 2011
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Stolen Dignity

In October, Brent Morgan, 20, was arrested in Prince George, British Columbia, and charged with three counts related to the attempted theft of a Corvette. After spotting the car in a driveway, Morgan jumped in and locked the doors. However, the car's battery was too weak for the car to start—and, worse yet for Morgan, there wasn't even enough power to unlock the doors after he had locked them. Feeling trapped and sensing that the owner had called the police, Morgan panicked and began using any available tool inside the car to smash the window. According to the police report, officers arrived just as Morgan had broken open the driver's side window, but too late for Morgan to realize that he could have exited the car by manually sliding the door lock with his fingers.

Recent Alarming Headlines

(1) "Condoms Rushed to Thai Flood Victims." (2) "Killer Sharks Invade Golf Course in Australia." (3) "Lingerie Football League Wants to Start a Youth League."

Police Report

  • Points for Style: (1) Police in Corpus Christi, Texas, looked to the public for help in October to find the man who, according to surveillance video of a city agency building, stole three surveillance cameras (not the recording units, just the cameras) by lassoing them from their perches near the ceiling. (2) Theresa Mejia, held in the Burlington, Wash., police station on kidnapping charges, climbed through a ceiling vent in a dramatic escape attempt, traversing the entire length of the building before officers knew where she was. (Ultimately, the path of the vent put her directly over the police chief's office, where she crashed through to the floor.)
  • Milestone: Joseph Wilson, 50, was chased by police and arrested in Port St. Lucie, Fla., in October and charged with shoplifting from a Bealls department store. It was his 100th arrest. (Wilson's getaway was delayed when he jumped into the passenger seat of an idling SUV and ordered the driver to "Take off!" The driver refused his order.)

The Aristocrats!

A man unnamed in a news story was charged on July 24 with resisting arrest (for trespassing) by failing to put his hands behind his back. According to the Destin, Fla., police report, the man explained, "I can't put my hands behind my back because I'm making a bowel movement (in my pants)." (According to the report, that was true.)

Great Art!

  • It was haute couture meeting haute cuisine at the Communication Museum in Berlin in November, as prominent Austrian chef Roland Trettl introduced his fashions (displayed on live models) made from food, including a tunic of octopus, a miniskirt of seaweed, a trouser suit made with lean bacon, a scarf of squid ink pasta, and a hat woven from lettuce. The museum director (presumably without irony) said the items were "provocative" and would "raise questions."
  • Veteran New York City performance artist Marni Kotak, 36, gave birth to her first child, Ajax, on Oct. 25—and that was her "art," as the birth took place at the Microscope Gallery in Brooklyn, N.Y., after Kotak had moved into the space two weeks earlier to interact with visitors. Previously, Kotak had "re-enacted" her own birth and the loss of her virginity in the back seat of a car.

© 2011 Chuck Shepherd


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