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Spicing Up Your Usual Sex Positions

Jul. 19, 2012
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This is a question on how to spice up our repertoire of positions. What are some good positions for a well-endowed guy? My girlfriend and I usually go from missionary to cowgirl to a position called "the slide," and repeat. Are there positions that make anal sex easier, too, if she says it's too wide? Help!

There are so many different sex positions to try that they could fill a book—literally. As with any activity, after a period of experimentation with a new partner, we tend to quickly fall into a routine of positions that are the easiest and most comfortable or that reliably get us off. There's nothing wrong with reliable pleasure, but if you know exactly what's coming every time, even sex can start to seem a bit boring.

One position to try that often works well for men with larger penises for both vaginal and anal penetration is side entry while spooning—both partners facing the same direction while lying on their sides, with the man/penetrating partner behind. Entering the vagina or anus from the rear this way allows for shallower penetration and more control over depth by the person being penetrated.

You can also try sitting on a chair or on the edge of the bed and having your girlfriend straddle you. This also can work well for vaginal or anal penetration and again allows the person being penetrated to control the angle and depth of the action.

There are all sorts of position aids out there, such as wedges that elevate the hips, straps that allow you to change the angle of penetration, or even sex swings (although frankly, I would invest in a higher-end version attached to a sturdy metal frame if you're interested in swings; the cheaper ceiling-mounted ones frighten me).

You can also use sex position decks, which contain cards with a different position on each one, as a way to spice up your repertoire—draw a different card each time you have sex and try something new. Even though you inevitably won't enjoy every position in these cards, they'll give you some ideas and help you learn more about what you and your partner like. There are lots of different sex position books, but two unique ones to look out for are Eric Garrison's Mastering Multiple Position Sex, which takes you through sequences of different sex positions that can be used one after the other, and Tristan Taormino's Anal Sex Position Guide. Tristan also has a DVD called The Expert Guide to Positions, if you're more of a visual learner. Books that discuss the Kama Sutra also typically address penis size and recommend positions for men with larger penises.

Difficulty with penetration during anal sex might be helped by using more lubricant (or a thicker, better-quality one) and by using butt plugs or other anal-safe toys as warm-ups. Many couples think that anal penetration with a penis will be easy, but more often than not, it can be painful or just not happening. Start with smaller plugs or dildos first.

Laura Anne Stuart owns the Tool Shed, an erotic boutique on Milwaukee's East Side. She has a master's degree in public health and has worked as a sexuality educator for more than a decade. Want Laura to answer your questions in SEXpress? Send them to laura@shepex.com. Not all questions received will be answered in the column, and Laura cannot provide personal answers to questions that do not appear here. Questions sent to this address may be reproduced in this column, both in print and online, and may be edited for clarity and content.


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