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A Grammatic Monologue

Nov. 24, 2013
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Two run-on sentences careened around a line.

The Colon twins, trying to avoid fragmentation,

made a dash into a compound but collided

with an oncoming semi. Rhetorical expletives

punctuated the air. The twins, diagnosed with

acute colonitis brought on by stress, were subjected

to colonoscopies and put into induced commas.


Cognizant of the relative complexity of the case,

authorities coordinated their efforts to find

a witness who could diagram the conjunction

of the parties involved. An elderly grammar

presented herself. In the tense interrogation

that followed, some definitely agreed with her analysis;

others voiced direct and indirect objections,

until all were thrown into a subjunctive mood.


The old grammar remained comparatively passive

until an intransitive judge, in grave, accented syllables,

declared her predication to be parenthetical.

At that, she rose from her chair and loudly interjected:

“You’re all just a bunch of stupid idioms!

Someday you’ll end up in a periodic sentence.”


                                    —first published in Free Verse, Issue #99-100



Sister Irene Zimmerman has published four books of poetry. Her poems have appeared in numerous print venues and won several awards, most recently First Prize in the Poets’ Choice category of the Wisconsin Fellowship of Poets Triad Contest, 2013. Her poem “Serenade” received Honorable Mention in the annual contest sponsored by The Wisconsin Academy of Sciences, Arts, and Letters and appears in the current issue of Wisconsin People and Ideas.


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