It would seem, now, four and half decades after Stonewall, that October 11, National Coming Out Day, would be a quaint LGBT date of remembrance of those past, dark and closeted days. One would hope, in 2014, that “coming out” would be a joyful family affair, celebrated like a Quinceañera, a first gay brunch or at least worthy of a greeting card. Sadly, we're not quite there yet. In fact, we're far from it.
Despite our constitutionally guaranteed rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the deterrent to coming out, homophobia, is alive and well. It’s even institutionalized as a plank of one of our political parties and a tenant of certain mainstream religions. Stoking the fears of the uninformed, politicians, priests and preachers still insist on using the LGBT community to justify their bigotry. Hardly a day goes by without news of bullying, intimidation and other homophobic acts of physical or emotional violence perpetrated against the LGBT community. In Philadelphia, a vicious bashing by a mob of nattily dressed, white 20-somethings, alumni of a good Catholic school, sent a gay couple to the hospital. It took weeks of social media sleuthing to bring in the three primary offenders, one the daughter of a police chief. In Tennessee, a billboard condemns gays in the name of God. Locally, a young Republican candidate, and darling of Christian family values organizations, was forced to abort his political aspirations for his use of “fag” and the “N” word in his social media postings. Fortunately, some cases came to some resolution thanks to surveillance cameras and the ignorance of the perpetrators. Broadcasting hate can come back to haunt. Still, homophobia remains a device to be exploited for personal or political gain. It is vehement and unrelenting.
Coming out remains a personal challenge fraught with risks and trauma. Even the next generation, whose comfort with the coming out process is far less inhibited, still endures good old-fashioned homophobia. According to Julie Bock, senior vice president of programs for Pathfinders, a Milwaukee homeless youth shelter, although LGBT youth account for only 5-7% of the general adolescent population, 23% of the city’s homeless kids identify as LGBT. They become homeless as a result of coming out. Surveys consistently show significantly higher rates of suicide and vulnerability to abuse among gay youth. Two plays currently running at Milwaukee theaters, The Boulevard Theatre’s Gidion’s Knot by Johnna Adams and the Milwaukee Repertory Theater’s after all the terrible things I do by A. Rey Pamatmat, address that very issue.
This week, the U.S. Supreme Court rejected appeals by five states, including Wisconsin, to uphold their anti-gay marriage constitutional amendments. With such a historic ruling, we can only hope for continued advances in LGBT acceptance. One day, we may truly celebrate October 11. Meanwhile, as German gay activist Rosa von Praunheim once said, “It is not the homosexual who is perverse, rather it is the society in which he lives.”
