‘Get Hard’?

Limp comedy is hard to take

by

1/4 Stars

Rated R

Starring: Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart

Directed by Etan Cohen

 Is Will Ferrell’s blubbery, naked body really all that funny? By now, hasn’t it already been overexposed in a litany of other movies? Does an opening scene featuring repeated shots of Ferrell prancing about enhance Get Hard in any way? Is it an early signal to viewers that the film is full of recycled gags that weren’t all that funny to begin with? Unfortunately, the unavoidable answers to these questions should serve as caveats to any prospective ticket buyer. 

Hedge fund manager James King (Ferrell) is phenomenally successful, lives in a sprawling Bel Air McMansion and has an attractive fiancée (Alison Brie). She exhorts James to have sex with her on the blueprints of the even bigger McMansion they plan to build. James’ boss, Martin (Craig T. Nelson), promotes him to the vaunted position of partner in the firm. Martin also happens to be the father of James’ fiancée. Like his daughter, Martin is a vocal advocate of Social Darwinism.

A party is held at James’ home with singer/songwriter John Mayer on hand to play. However, an FBI raid interrupts the celebratory affair and James is arrested on charges of fraud and embezzlement. He vehemently professes his innocence to no avail and is hauled away in handcuffs. Convinced that he will be exonerated, James turns down a plea deal. Following conviction, the judge sentences him to 10 years. It won’t be served at some country club prison for white-collar criminals. Seeking to make an example of James, the judge sentences him to San Quentin, a maximum-security prison. He gives James 30 days to sort out his affairs.

James is terrified by the prospect of being surrounded by hardcore criminals with violent backgrounds. He fears being killed or raped. The solution? He hires Darnell (Kevin Hart) to school him on how to survive in prison. Darnell’s qualifications? James just assumes that because Darnell is African American, he must have spent time in prison. Of course, that ignores the fact that James has already cited statistics that 33% of African American males have done jail time. So, using his own statistics, James should have been aware that the probability is that Darnell was never in prison. This is the sort of pervasive dislogic that dominates the film.

In reality, Darnell is a hard-working entrepreneur who operates a deluxe car-washing operation. A hardened criminal? Darnell has a squeaky clean record, which is devoid of so much as a parking ticket. When Darnell makes a remark that his wife, Rita (Edwina Findley Dickerson), finds objectionable, he gets slapped.

Darnell wants to buy a new house away from Crenshaw, where he and his family live. This will allow them to escape a neighborhood where drive-by shootings are routine. It will also enable his daughter (Ariana Neal) to go to a better school. To purchase the home, Darnell requires another $30,000. Darnell decides to take advantage of James’ misperception and pose as an ex-convict. For this private tutoring in how to act like a thug, Darnell charges $30,000, the exact amount he needs for a new house.

The film is rife with virulent strains of racism, homophobia and disdain for non-elites. It throws in a random anti-Semitic remark about “Jew hair” as well as Latino stereotypes. At one juncture, it becomes apparent that James has Asperger’s syndrome. There is no other way to reconcile his uncanny facility with numbers and calculations with how hopelessly obtuse he is in other regards. So, apparently the screenwriters have decided that it is also open season on those with autism.

In addition to its crude, offensive script, Get Hard is subverted by technical incompetence. Shots are poorly constructed and lit. A key fight scene is ineptly choreographed. The film’s disconcertingly few laughs do little to redeem its hatefulness. Get Hard is a limp comedy, which is genuinely hard to take.