I need a teenager. Wait…no. That sounded bad. I mean, I need a teenager looking to make some extra cash. Oh, dear. This isn’t working.
Let me explain: You see, I’m old. That said I need a youngster to show me how to use things like my cell phone and the cable remote. Don’t even get me started on texting, Instagraming and Twittering (WTF?). I’ve been twittering myself for all it’s worth. I’ve sent open invites to anyone who wants to twitter my tweeter but I still don’t understand the stupid social craze.
I need a brainy kid to show me the techno ropes. Could it be you? Speaking of looking for new friends, let’s read a recent email about friendship and then check out this week’s happenings!
Dear Ruthie,
What would you call it when a friend who constantly comes to you looking for help, advice, money, a shoulder to cry on, favors and stuff says you’re selfish, self-centered and needy when you go to him for some help or advice that you need?
—Feeling Confused
Dear Confused,
What would I call it? I’d call it a long-ass run-on sentence! That’s what I’d call it, honey. Sounds like you need to dump the chump and hang with a new group of homies. (Do the kids still say “homies?”) Find someone new to confide in because this person doesn’t sound like much of a friend.
Don’t want to end the relationship right now? That’s fine, sugar. But you may want to keep this person at an arm’s length for a bit. Reevaluate the give-and-take manner of friendship, take a look inside and see how you personally treat your friends, and then decide which people in your life have built your trust and deserve your time and attention.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
April 30: ‘Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man’ at Vogel Hall (929 N. Water St.): Hey, ladies! If you’re looking to satisfy your stud in the sack, why not take a few pointers from an expert? A Gay man! This romantic comedy tackles tips and tricks for tickling your man’s fancy as well as his funny bone(r). See marcuscenter.org for tickets and show times. (Also May 1.)
May 1: ‘Sun, Sand & Song’ Women’s Voices Milwaukee Concert at Washington Park Senior Center (4420 W. Vliet St.): Step into spring (and summer) as the ladies of Milwaukee sing their way into your heart. Okay…that was corny, I know—but it’s true! See for yourself at this seasonal show. The 7:30 p.m. concert comes at a cost of $15 at the door. (Also May 2.)
May 2: Make a Promise Gala and Auction at The Wisconsin Center (400 W. Wisconsin Ave.): It’s time for the granddaddy of all fundraisers—the AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin’s Make a Promise 2015! Can you feel the electricity in the air? That’s because this year’s theme is “Electrify the Promise,” complete with enough glitz and glamour to energize your generous side. Dust off your fanciest duds for the 5:30 p.m. to midnight soiree. See arcw.org for tickets, a schedule of the impressive evening and more.
May 2: Bianca Del Rio’s ‘Rolodex of Hate’ at The Pabst Theater (144 E. Wells St.): “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season six winner, Bianca Del Rio storms into Brew City with her must-see comedy tour. The self-proclaimed “clown in a dress” serves up her brassy brand of fun for one night only, so call 414-286-3663 for tickets to the 8 p.m. show. I’ll be there. Will you?
May 2: Woody Tunes at Woody’s (1579 S. Second St.): Crank the tunes, cover me in honey and feed me to the bears, because they’ll all gathering at Woody’s! The men of MAUL (Milwaukee Area Ursine League) take over the sports bar at 8 p.m., offering drink specials, Jello shots, raffles and all the hairy, manly-man fun you can handle!
May 4: A Little Night Out Tequila Tasting and Training at Cempazuci Restaurant (1205 E. Brady St.): One, tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor! Grab your amigos and get ready to swig back the popular Southwestern spirit. This benefit for the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center explains the ins and outs of tequila making, offers a variety of samples and includes an appetizer buffet for the $35 ticket. The restaurant is closed to the public and seating is limited, so swing by mkelgbt.org/tequila101 for tickets.
Have a question for Ruthie or want to tell her about an event? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com.
