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Swim, Pisces, Swim!

Mar. 14, 2017
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Is it just me or are there a tremendous number of birthdays this month? I mean, everywhere I turn there are cakes or cupcakes or streamers or cocktails or something to commemorate a birthday. Not that I’m complaining. After all, I’m a Pisces, too! While I don’t like fish fries and I’m not one to get my hair wet in the pool, I’m a true fishy.

Not into astrology? Neither is the reader below. Check out her letter, and then mark your calendar with a plan to hit a few of the happenings going on this week.

 

Dear Ruthie,

My new girlfriend is really into astrology. At first I didn’t mind but her “readings” are completely directing our life and our astrology signs are calling all the shots—from where we go on dates to who we hang out with when. I can’t take it anymore, but she’s really into this whole lifestyle. Any thought on our future?

Thanks,
Taurus-Headed Trish

 

Dear Trish,

You didn’t tell me how long you’ve been dating, so I’m not sure how invested you are in this relationship. If this is a long-term dealio, then I’d suggest explaining that you’re not as interested in astrology as she is, and that it needs to take a backseat more than it currently does.

If this is a new affair, I’d bow out gracefully since you clearly have different outlooks on life. After all, if she’s that into astrology, she should see it coming!

 

UPCOMING EVENTS:

 

March 17: Pose ’n Play Figure Drawing and Burlesque at Art*Bar (722 E. Burleigh St.): Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with a little bump and grind! The Dainty Rogues dance troupe offers bawdy burlesque bouts every 15 minutes from 8 to 11 p.m. Artists can feel free to draw the statuesque gals when they freeze in a pose for you. Not an artist? Simply enjoy the show! 

 

March 17: Pot of Gold Party at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): There’s always something going on at this Walker’s Point hot spot. This week, you can get your gold with a glittery gala! The no-cover, 10 p.m. evening includes a gold-themed drag show, a DJ, dancing and more to make this a memorable, metallic night!

 

March 18: One Heartland Fundraiser at The Wherehouse (818 S. Water St.): For 12 years, everyone’s favorite host, Tall Keith, has been the force behind this insanely popular annual gala for One Heartland, helping kids whose life is affected by HIV. You don’t want to miss this 4 to 8 p.m. soiree featuring live singers, drag acts, free food and the largest silent auction this side of the Milwaukee River. C’mon down and join me for a helluva night! I’ll see you there!

 

March 18: Mr. & Miss Courage MKE Pageant at Montage Lounge (801 S. Second St.): When you’re done celebrating the green, it’s time to think pink with this annual pageant. The 6 p.m. contest is open to all genders and includes on-stage question, talent and eveningwear categories. Email couragemke@gmail.com for more information or a registration packet.  

 

March 18: “Bears in Kilts” Party at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Keep those kilts out for another day, boys! A wild night is on the menu with this 10 p.m. woof-fest, hosted by the Milwaukee Area Ursine League. What do men wear under their kilt? Check out this party and find out in person!

 

March 19: South Milwaukee Spring Indoor Market (801 15th Ave.): Don’t miss one of Milwaukee’s largest indoor markets as more than 100 vendors take over South Milwaukee High School. Live music, free parking, a visit from the East Bunny and ready-to-eat food make this 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. marketplace a shopaholic’s dream come true. Swing by smmarket.org to learn more.

 

March 20: Karaoke Night at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Lube up your pipes and open wide! Wait…that sounds bad. I’m talking about karaoke night at Milwaukee’s oldest LGBT bar! Don’t miss the 9 p.m. good times with discounts on flavored vodka drinks. Don’t want to sing? Sit back and watch the silliness at this popular Cathedral Square hot spot.

 

Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com

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