Frank: Are you asunderwhelmed by the Games as you expected?
Artie: Nope. I’m hooked! Iguess I forgot how exciting these events are: skiers flying down a mountain andwinning by hundredths of a second; cross-country skiers collapsing across thefinish line; total crazies zooming through an ice chute on sleds that make"Rosebud" look like a tank. I can’t get enough!
Frank: I’m less engaged thanI expected. I’m sure not glued to NBC’s marathon of commercials, interruptedoccasionally by the sports.
Artie: That’s why Godinvented the VCR or DVR or whatever letters we’re using at the moment.
Frank: You betcha. And thatway I can skip the sappy buildups for the big stars. It ain’t no surprise thatthey’ve worked hard and fought through setbacks and love their parents and seea gold medal as a dream come true.
Artie: It’s all too perfect,the soap-opera things they throw in to get the female viewers who make or breakthe ratings.
Frank: Another reason I’mnot into the big stars is that just about all of them—Lindsey Vonn, BodeMiller, Shani Davis, Apolo Ohno, that "Flying Tomato" guy, ShaunWhite—were millionaires and "brands" already.
Artie: They havesponsorships, endorsement deals, whatever they need to train year-round. Whatthey do is great, but it’s their job, for cripes’ sakes. If they win they justget richer.
Frank: But it’s verydifferent for at least one group of competitors, the ones I am totally into.
Artie: You don’t mean...
Frank: That’s right, I’mtalking about the people’s sport, curling. There were laughs when it wentOlympic in 1998—"bocce ball or lawn bowling, just add ice"—but moreand more people recognize that it involves terrific hand-eye coordination andcomplex%uFFFD strategy.
Artie: So it’s chess on ice.
Frank: But with no setplaces for the pieces, or "rocks." And if your moves are off by aninch or two, it can mean disaster.
Artie: So it’s also likeputting or free-throw shooting on ice.
Frank: That kind ofpressure, sure, but again it’s more complicated. But the best thing aboutcurlers is that almost all of them do notmake their living at it. They’re regular people with regular jobs—and also somespecial skills.
Artie: The thinking man’ssport and the working man’s sport.Joe and Josephine Six-Pack can say, "Hey, I could do that, if I got off mykeister long enough."
Frank: The players are mic’dup for games, and when you hear them talk strategy and react to the shots, yousense they’re nice, friendly folks who try hard but won’t go nuts if they lose.Which is a good thing for our American curlers.
Artie: On thin ice, arethey?
Frank:The U.S. men finished2-7 and the women's team%uFFFDentered this week at 2-5. The women, with threeplayers from Wisconsin,started 0-3, won two but got routed twice Sunday.%uFFFDThe%uFFFDcaptain, orskip, Deb McCormick, was in a shooting slump—but not as bad as%uFFFDmen's skipJohn Shuster during his team's agonizing 0-4 start.
Artie: So he turned into askipper like Alan Hale Jr. was on "Gilligan’s Island,"ain’a?
Frank: Over three games,Shuster had four chances for game-winning shots and missed ’em all—too hard oroff-line by a hair. Shuster helped the U.S.take bronze in 2006, but this time he was benched for the fifth game—which the U.S. won.
Artie: We can relate—all ofus who struck out with the bases loaded in Little League or botched an easyspare in the finals of the company bowling league.
Frank: Shuster took hisdemotion with class and returned to the ice—in a lesser role—for a secondvictory. McCormick also moved to a lesser spot to help her team.
Artie: John Shuster, you’reour Olympic hero. You too, Deb.
Onlythe Tee Shot
Frank: So Tiger Woodsfinally emerged to say he’s sorry for betraying his wife, friends and sponsors.
Artie: I was thinking hemight postpone it and fly to Vancouverto chase Lindsey Vonn.
Frank: You’re joking, Ithink, but Woods has entered the stage of celebrity that Bill Clinton knowswell—life as a running national joke, no matter what he achieves. Three monthsago it was the “Story of the Century,” but last week my reaction was,"This is already Yesterday’s News."
Artie: He convenientlypicked a Friday, and during the Olympics, so his little show would be quicklyovershadowed.
Frank: Of course this isonly the first "shot" in his effort to keep his family and return togolf. He said the right things, but there’s a lot more work to do.
Artie: Looks like he won’tplay the Masters in April, but I’ll bet he’s back for the U.S. andBritish Opens, on courses where he’s won before.
Frank: I noticed he saidhe’ll be "more respectful of the game." That was a reply to TomWatson, who recently said Woods’ behavior on the course needs work.
Artie: All the glares atphoto-snappers, the cursing and club-slamming after bad shots. Yeah, he’s neverbeen a ray of sunshine.
Frank: I hope Woods hastaught us that it’s foolish to equate a top athlete’s talent with character.There’s no automatic connection. With character, as Woods’ wife told him, theproof is in the behavior.
TheKing of Queens
Artie: The Marquettehoopsters picked a bad time to lay an egg at home against Pittsburgh. It sure didn’t help their NCAAtournament chances. Wisconsin flopped the samenight at Minnesota,but the Badgers are No. 17 in this week’s AP poll.
Frank: Both teams bouncedback Sunday, and UW has Jon Leuer back from his broken wrist. As for the GoldenEagles, they’re over .500 in the Big East, with a win over Georgetownand paper-thin losses to Villanova (twice) and West Virginia.
Artie: All of them ranked inthe Top 11 by the AP. Plus MU beat Michiganand UConn when both were ranked.
Frank: Our deadline camebefore this week’s game at St. John’s—agame with special meaning for me.
Artie: Must be a Noo Yawkthing, ain’a?
Frank: Instead of playing atMadison SquareGarden, the teams were meeting at the St. John’s field house in Queensfor the first time in 42 years.
Artie: Hmm, I wonder who wason hand that night in ’68.
Frank: A St. John’s Prep senior who had just decided to attend Marquette in the fall. Irooted for the Redmen as they lost, 57-56. Blanton Simmons hit two jumpers inthe final minute and Queens native Al McGuireprovided some classic fireworks.
Artie: What a surprise.
Frank: With about 5 secondsleft and MU leading, a St. John’sguy got trapped and asked for a timeout. McGuire said the timekeeper stoppedthe clock immediately, before the refsignaled the TO. McGuire charged the scorer’s table and wound up yellingnose-to-nose with the St. John’sathletic director, Walter McLaughlin.
Artie: But Al had the lastword.
Frank: Right. St. John’s missed at theend and the Warriors won although George Thompson fouled out with only 13points. After the game I schlepped coats at an MU alumni party and McGuirepredicted big things the next season when another New Yorker, Dean Meminger,joined the varsity.
Artie: How right he was!
Frank: For me, Dean theDream has to be in MU’s all-time starting five.
Artie: Thompson too. And weall know who the all-time MU coach is.
Frank: It ain’t Tom Crean.
