Whether they admit it or not, most adults secretly disdain child pop stars. These kids seem to spring up from nowhere and make us feel old and out of touch. And few pop singers make me feel older or more out of touch than overnight sensation Justin Bieber, a Canadian teenager who looks much younger than his 15 years and sounds much, much younger. If his music doesn't chill you to the bone, the thought that this moppet be able to drive a car in less than a year will.
In fact, Bieber--whose name reads incredibly like "Justin Beaver" on the radio, a similarity that very well may spawn its own "South Park" episode one day--sounds so young that it's very possible his voice hasn't even changed yet (I suppose his label will cross that bridge when it gets to it). And amazingly, his speaking voice is even less developed than his singing voice. On a recorded radio promo for his upcoming, sold-out concert at The Rave Nov. 12, Bieber talks into his arm, sounding more like a 9-year-old than a 15-year-old.
Milwaukee's 103.7 Kiss-FM has been making the most of its sponsorship of that concert, giving away tickets hourly, making the ashamed parents of lovestruck tween girls compete against each other for the last remaining pairs like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad battling for the last Turbo-Man action figure in Jingle All the Way (parents have particular reason to disdain child pop stars).
Hopefully, Kiss-FM will retire the song after its finished promoting that concert. I can't recall a pop station ever playing a single as overtly kiddie as Bieber's "One Time," a song that makes Hanson or the Jonas Brothers feel like the Red House Painters by comparison. I will credit Bieber for this, though: Hearing his song on Kiss-FM makes me understand, perhaps for the first time, why so many people stop listening to contemporary radio and retreat to classic rock stations.
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