Dear Ruthie,
I don’t mind the “Daddy/Boy” roles and dirty talk in the bedroom. I don’t hate it; I don’t love it; it’s just fine. I don’t care about it either way, but my younger partner can’t get enough of it. It’s become, in my untrained opinion, a fetish for him. He seems to have a hard time performing without me calling him “boy” and things. This wasn’t a big deal at first, but now it’s becoming annoying and he’s getting into leather stuff and wants to call me “daddy” in public. It’s uncomfortable outside the bedroom. I want an equal in life. Not a “boy.” He’s taking things too far but I don’t want to lose him. Should I suck it up and let it be?
—Who’s Your Daddy?
Dear Big Daddy,
According to my pedicure man, Mr. Kim, “Daddies” are hot in the gay community right now. Many Daddies (attractive, older, gay men) gravitate to younger gay men but some like other Daddies, too. Regardless, you should be with the sort of man that makes you comfortable. If he’s saying things or behaving in a manner that’s making you uneasy, you need to say something. Simply let him know how you feel and how the two of you might come to a happy medium.
If he wants to explore the leather community, let him. In fact, join him! The worst that could happen is that you make a few new friends. Keep your communication open regarding how you feel about things, and the course of this relationship will become clear to you.
May 21: 50 and Better Drop In at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): “Thank You for Being a Friend!” That’s the golden tune you’ll be humming after attending this open forum for LGBT folks over the age of 50. Drop in anytime between 2 and 6 p.m. for games, conversation and friendship. See mkelgbt.org for more.
May 21: Ladies Bike Night at Harley-Davidson Museum (400 W. Canal St.): Summer is here (sort of) and that’s when the Harleys hit the highways in Cream City. This night is reserved for the gals, so grab your leather chaps ladies and head over to Canal Street. The Harley Museum hosts a night of raffles, bike lifts, a P&A Fit Shop and more, including a panel discussion hosted by Sirius XM’s Meredith Ochs of “Freewheelin’” and “Women on Wheels.” Let the good times roll at 5 p.m.
May 21: OutReach’s Annual Garden Party at Rotary Botanical Gardens (1455 Palmer Drive, Janesville): Polish off your green thumb and mingle with other tree huggers during this popular fundraiser. In addition to a bevy of breathtaking gardens, you’ll also enjoy a buffet, non-alcoholic beverages (I’ve never heard of these), music and other festivities. The all-ages event includes a $40 suggested donation to the OutReach LGBT Community Center.
May 22: The 2015 Shimmy Awards at Frank’s Power Plant (2800 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): The kooky kids at Cream City Cabaret host this celebration of tassels, boobies and things that go bump and grind in the night! Singers, drag performers and others are set to appear during this tongue-in-cheek evening of high-camp hijinks. A cover of $10 gets you into the 10 p.m. festivities.
May 24: Bay View Prom Pub Crawl at Hamburger Mary’s (2130 S. Kinnickinnic): Dust off your ruffled tux or squeeze into your hoop skirt and join this adults-only prom! Registration opens at 4 p.m. at Hamburger Mary’s with prom-goers hitting the bars at 6 p.m. The walking pub crawl includes drink specials at hot spots along KK and culminates with the prom where you’ll enjoy a dance floor, DJ, finger-food buffet, King and Queen crowning and more. Order $25 advance tickets at Hamburger Mary’s or brownpapertickets.com, or pay $35 at registration. Proceeds go to MKE Pride Committee and Ruthie’s Kennel Club.
May 24: Memorial Day White Party at Plan B (924 Williamson St., Madison): “RuPaul’s Drag Race” superstar and Wisconsin native Max hosts this sixth annual bash that includes DJ Brook. Dress to impress by wearing white and you’ll be considered for special prizes. The 9 p.m. rave is open to all 18+ (must be at least 21 to drink) and runs until bar close.
Have a question for Ruthie or want to tell her about an event? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Catch her web series at on Facebook.
