When it comes to looking out for one another, no one does it like Milwaukee’s LGBT community. We bind together in times of need, act quickly and throw one helluva party! This week’s happenings are no exception. Read through this week’s list and you’ll notice that there are no less than two benefits to help an LGBT icon and hometown honey in need. Check them out, and see you there! Until then, let’s read an email I received from a man having trouble with the hottie in his own home.
Dear Ruthie,
I’m getting sick of coming home to a husband in sweatpants and a T-shirt and with Hamburger Helper on the stove. Granted, I’m no male model, but give me a break! Gay or not, a guy likes something a little sexier than that every day. I work all day, too, and I manage to keep up with my appearances and make nights somewhat special for us.
We’ve only been together a year and already, we’re dealing with sweatpants, no sex and chopped beef. What the hell? How can I gently tell my man that I need him to jazz it up?
Thanks,
Cold Sweats
Dear Sweaty,
Rip his clothes off, smother him with Hamburger Helper and eat it off him. I can’t imagine anything going wrong with this plan…other than third-degree burns. (Make sure the food is cool to the touch, by the way.) What I’m saying is that you need to take matters into your own hands. (That sounded dirty…you know what I mean!)
Whether you want to sex up a Saturday night or get your willy wagging during the work week, set the pace yourself. Make plans for the two of you, prepare the sort of meal you’d like or dazzle him in a diamond-studded thong. Show him what you’d like to come home to and he’s more likely to return the favor. (Then, send that diamond thong my way!)
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Jan. 8: Kink Night at Hybrid Lounge (707 E. Brady St.): Get your kink on at this change-of-pace party from a Brady Street hotspot. The fun starts at 8 p.m. with naughty activities from the Tool Shed, followed by a DJ, prizes, drink specials and more…all without a cover charge. Don your favorite fetish/fantasy gear for a chance at an incredible prize.
Jan. 8: Shades of Pink at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Local logo diva Trixie Mattel returns to Brew City to toss shade in her favorite color…pink! Join the Barbie-like babe for a 9 p.m. party, with performances at 11 p.m. and 12:30 a.m.
Jan. 9: Ladies Night Out at Hot Water (818 S. Water St.): Enjoy this monthly get-together for likeminded ladies from 7:30 to 11 p.m. A cash bar, friendly faces and new friends are yours for the taking for a simple $5 cover charge. Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Jan. 10: White Elephant Gift Exchange at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Not ready to give up on holiday fun? The gang at the LGBT Community Center isn’t either! They’re hosting a crazy gift exchange, buffet and movie night all jumbled into one. Bring a wrapped gift at 1 p.m. and get ready for fun.
Jan. 10: Jackie Roberts Jubilee at La Cage (801 S. Second St.): Join hostess Nova D’Vine as she raises funds to help LGBT superstar Jackie Roberts fight the “big ‘C.’” Doors open at 8:30 p.m. with a silent auction; show time is 9 p.m. The show is open to the public and involves a $10 door charge.
Jan. 13: ‘Jerry Herman: The Broadway Legacy Concert’ at Marcus Center for the Performing Arts (929 N. Water St.): From hits such as La Cage aux Folles to Hello Dolly! the work of Jerry Herman has been a mainstay on Broadway. Don’t miss this one-night-only performance, celebrating the man behind the music. The 7:30 p.m. concert promises to put a smile on your face and a spring in your step! See marcuscenter.org for tickets.
Jan. 13: HamBingo with the All Stars for Jackie Roberts at Hamburger Mary’s (2130 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): See what happens when I cross five queens with bingo, burgers, prizes and more during this fundraiser for local legend Jackie Roberts. This special edition of HamBingo includes numerous performances from some of the city’s favorite entertainers. Donations go to Jackie in her fight against cancer. Bingo runs 8 to 9:30 p.m. Call Hamburger Mary’s at 414-988-9324 for reservations.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Enjoy her cooking show at rutihesbitchinkitchen.com.
