Ronald Stach, 41, climbed to the roof of the Canton Station bar in Baltimore on Dec. 11 and remained until Christmas Day, protesting the poor showing of the Baltimore Ravens football team. However, Stach's actions not only called attention to the Ravens, but also to himself, and thus alerted his former wife as to his whereabouts. Stach's ex-wife then renewed a years-long battle for at least $40,000 in child support. Kelly Stach said she was especially incensed at a TV interview in which Ronald lamented how much money he had spent on Ravens memorabilia. Shortly after that, a second woman came forward, claiming that Stach also owed her $12,000 in child support.
People With Issues
(1) Bill Long, a former member of the Volusia (Fla.) County Council was charged with DUI in December after he allegedly hit another car while speeding. WKMG-TV in Orlando reported that officers who arrived at the scene found Long drinking suntan lotion. (2) Joseph Cardillo, reportedly a certified therapist in tantra, kundalini and other spiritual arts, was arrested by sheriff's deputies in Boulder, Colo., in November for, among other things, drinking an 8-year-old girl's urine, which he allegedly caught in his cupped hands, according to a report in Boulder's Daily Camera.
People With Too Much Time on Their Hands
(1) According to a report in Britain's Bolton News in December, the House of Lords has recently been discussing the need to reduce the thickness of slices of bread, which Baroness Gardener of Parkes said would help alleviate Britain's alarming levels of obesity. (2) According to an Associated Press report on CNN, the Weather Channel recently released a CD comprising 12 of what it called the most popular jazz selections that play on its “Local on the 8s” weather screens. Presumably, these tunes were requested by people who watch the Weather Channel often enough to actually have favorites.
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Can't Possibly Be True
Convenience-store manager Carol Mendenhall told reporters in December that among the police citations she had recently received for a disturbance at her home in Dibble, Okla. (pop. 282), was one for allowing her four goats to have sex in her front yard in public view, which was illegal in Dibble. She admitted that her billy goat, Adam, had been attending to three females who were in heat at the same time. (The city council has since repealed the ordinance, following a campaign Mendenhall conducted.)
Inexplicable
Police in Mount Lebanon, Pa., said in December that no illegal acts were involved, but some parents still want to know why the nondenominational Christian Mount Lebanon Young Life club staged a social event for teenagers in which boys wore adult diapers, bibs and bonnets and sat on the laps of girls while being spoon-fed. Youth minister O.J.
Wandrisco said that the skits were not “dirty,” but were intended “to break down the walls and let (the kids) have fun.” According to one parent, a previous skit involved kids eating chocolate pudding out of diapers.
In November, accused armed robber Steven McDermott, 49, was finally captured after leading California Highway Patrol officers on a high-speed chase in a commandeered taxicab. During the chase, McDermott reportedly caused two minor collisions before fleeing on foot.
When McDermott was finally cornered, police said, he reached toward his waistband, leading one officer to shoot at him. However, the object McDermott was reaching for turned out not to be the gun used in the robbery; instead, it was a sex toy that had been tethered to his belt loop.
Chutzpah!
(1) “Get in here and do your (word omitted by The Morning Call) jobs, you dumb (omitted),” said Donald Reidnauer Sr., 56, after summoning police to investigate a BB pellet fired at his house in Richland Township, Pa., in November. “I pay taxes. I am your boss.
Get in here and do your jobs or I'll have to kick your (omitted).” Reidnauer then lunged at officers and was arrested. (2) Marjorie Kelley, 50, called 911 in Sarasota, Fla., in January after feeling chest pains, but she requested that the ambulance use no sirens or lights. When EMTs arrived using sirens and lights, Kelley jumped up and chased them down the street, wielding a rolling pin, according to WWSB-TV.
© 2008 Chuck Shepherd
