Photo Courtesy J. Annie Wang, Flickr CC
It should just take one Bloody Mary in any two-bit town—a pint glass filled unceremoniously to the brim, zero garnish, maybe a limp stalk of celery at most, little kick, no chaser!—to realize Milwaukee does something truly special with its morning alcohol and tomato juice. Try one in Indy, in Detroit, hell, try one near anywhere else to fully grasp our town’s hangover-manhandling mettle. Here, drinking after a night of drinking is a Wisco-tinted art. Within there should obviously be sausage, good cheese, a bitty Miller High Life bottle accompanying like a loyal, sweating friend. (Nobody seems to know where this drink-on-drink methodology came from, but we like to think of it as the other Wisconsin Idea.)
Then again, a morning buzz is no time for upper-Midwestern humility. So, we have the Bruce Willis-movie bombast of Sobelman’s Pub and Grill, where you can chow down a mini-burger in your drink while you await your actual burger. Whichever your taste, here’s our take on some of the best providers of Milwaukee morning-after personality.
8. Engine Company 3
With all due respect to our town’s Polish lineage, tequila is superior to vodka in most every way. Here, a so-called “Bloody Maria” is known as an El Bombero, and offers a smoky chipotle essence via take-the-edge-off, south-of-the border alchemy.
7. County Clare Inn & Pub
Speaking of superior alcohols and variations, County Clare’s Bloody Máire (moy-rah) adds a splash of both Guinness and whiskey to their homemade Bloody mix. Top of the morning, indeed.
6. Buckley’s Restaurant & Bar
One of our most underrated restaurants, Buckley’s, offers an inspired chile pepper medley morning cocktail: Habanero, serrano and jalapeño all dance together in a formidable tomato-y wash. But it’s more of a cheek-sucking tang than capsaicin ramrod, with throaty complexity that is hard to put a finger on. This is a perfect accompaniment to trying to put a finger on questionable actions from last night.
5. Café Centraal, Café Hollander, Café Bavaria and Café Benelux
All of the Lowlands Group restaurants take their hangover placation seriously. Whether you prefer the throat tickle of the peppercorn-infused Southsider, the Dijon tang and blue cheese stuffed olives of The Frenchie, or the cheese and bacon bounty of The Milwaukeean, these cafes all sling a satisfyingly tall glass as first meal.
4. Rustico
The Piccante is a house-infused pint glass of pure bite, one that elbows aside any sinus infractions before tingling and tap dancing across the tongue. Whether served on the patio or in the cozy dining room, it’s a great way to fortify for the day. Or to balance out too much pizza and a nap.
3. Oscar’s Pub & Grill
Leaving the brute Sobelmans-ity of his old employer behind, Oscar does a more nuanced job at his own joint, with a chipotle-inflected Bloody mash. The fresh mozzarella hunk and crispy hickory bacon neatly top a drink of deep and singular smokiness, in an overall package that reeks of hot sauce, but never overpowers.
2. Zak’s Café
Common bad guy-stopping pepper spray weighs in at 2 million on the Scoville Heat Units scale. The Carolina Reaper, the world’s hottest pepper and the backbone of Zak’s magma tomato punch in a mason jar, hits 2.2 million. Garnished simple and smart with a beef stick, cheddar cube, olive and sagging pickle, it is potent, piquant and hangover-negating. Also, bitingly delicious.
1. West Allis Cheese & Sausage Shoppe
Comfort food genius: the security blanket soothing-ness of grilled cheese and tomato soup applied to morning-after meal. There’s a venerable tower atop this Worcestershire-tangy mason jar bloody, with a sinewy string cheese snake, crisp smoky bacon, hickory sausage stick and that bitty corner piece of lovingly toasted grilled cheese. Perfect for dunking and soothing out a sloshy stomach. It’s like Grandma is back in the kitchen and knows you had a late night.
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