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Dear Ruthie,
My husband and I recently adopted a beautiful baby girl. Our families are thrilled with the newest member of our tribe, particularly our parents who couldn’t be more excited to be grandparents.
I love my in-laws and I adore how excited they are, but my mother-in-law is taking things too far for my taste. She’s here every day, staying for 8-10 hours. Granted we are new parents and have lots of questions about caring for a newborn, but I think we’re doing as well as anyone. Plus, we both have paternity leave, so between the two of us, we’re handling things pretty well, I think.
I appreciate my mother-in-law’s help, but we need time for the three of us to bond as an immediate family. How can I tell her to take things down without hurting her feelings?
Wondering,
New Daddy
Dear Daddy,
Congratulations on the new edition to you family!
I have a feeling your predicament is a tale as old as time: An over-the-moon grandma feels the need to help the new parents as much as humanly possible. This is likely an exciting, wonderful time in her life, and she’s determined to make the most of it.
If you haven’t already, have a calm discussion about the situation with your hubby. Let him know how you’re feeling and what you think a solution might be. Perhaps, mumsy babysits every Wednesday and Saturday, allowing you guys to run errands or have some alone time outside the house. This puts your mom-in-law on a schedule that everyone agrees to and makes her feel like she has a “role” in helping with the baby.
Once you two decide on a plan of action, communicate clearly yet compassionately with her. Let your mother-in-law know how invaluable she is when it comes to helping with the baby. Suggest she need some time to herself as well, and that you can’t expect her to come every day, thus, suggesting a schedule. Regardless, remember that what she’s doing comes from a place of good, and steer your discussion from that viewpoint.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
August 9—Almost Home Cat Rescue Drag Bingo at Hamburger Mary’s(730 S. Fifth St.): We’re playing for pussies this week at Mary’s! Not your granny’s bingo, this big, bawdy bash serves up lots of naughty fun. My co-host Jaclyn Jill and I start yanking balls at 7:30 p.m. so be sure to nab a seat with a reservation via www.hamburgermarys.com/mke.
August 10—Viewing of “Camp Wannakiki” Season 5 Finale at This Is It(418 E. Wells St.): The locally-produced drag reality competition crowns its winner and dishes out a $10,000 prize package. See who becomes America’s next Queen or King of Camp during this 8 p.m. viewing. I’ll be there along my cousins the Sugarbaker Twins and Milwaukee contestant Jaclyn Jill. The show airs at 8 p.m. but arrive early for a good seat.
August 12 and August 13—Morning Glory Art Fair at Fiserv Deer District(1111 Vel R. Phillips Ave.): One of the city’s favorite art fests is back with 130 artists, each offering up everything from paintings and sculpture to woodwork, jewelry and so much more. Take in the free, outdoor showcase from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. each day.
August 14—"Pink: Summer Carnival 2023” at American Family Field (1 Brewers Way): The carnival is coming to town, and Pink is leading the circus! Considered one of the country’s top entertainers, Pink promises yet another jaw-dropping experience with this tour. Featuring special guest Pat Benatar, the night starts at 6:30 p.m. Swing by www.ticketmaster.com for more.
August 16—Musicals Sing-a-Long at Pyramid Event Venue (117 S. Main St., Lake Mills): Enjoy the charming shops, restaurants and pubs of Lake Mills before taking in this 6 p.m. night. From “Evita” and “Grease” to “The Greatest Showman” and “Mamma Mia,” all the toe-tappers from the Great White Way and Hollywood hit Pyramid’s large screens along with the lyrics. Sing along or simply enjoy the fun over cold brews, tasty cocktails and great food.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
