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Dear Ruthie,
My boyfriend shaved off his bush (completely), and I hate it. I’m smooth but he’s a bear and I’m a bear chaser, so to see my once-hairy lover now smooth as silk down below, I’m turned off. I can’t stand it, and I find him unattractive now when he’s naked. I know it’s shallow, but I really hate it that much!
How can I convince him to grow his pubes back?
(Signed)
Turned-Off Trick
Dear Trick,
So he cleared his snatch patch, shoveled his runway, mowed the treasure trail, snipped the short ‘n curly … get over it. If he’s truly a bear, aren’t there other furry body parts that still excite you? Why not focus on them?
If you hate it that much, ask why he did it and simply say you prefer a thicker party patch—then, move on. If you really like this guy, accept that he’s the ranger of his own forbidden forest and appreciate all the other aspects you love about him. After all, there are plenty of other bear chasers in the woods looking to snatch him up.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
March 14-16—Milwaukee Horror Con at Four Points by Sheraton Convention Center (5311 S. Howell Ave.): The city’s only horror convention is back with more guests, vendors and screenings than ever before. The three-day event includes meet-and-greets with horror movie icons, panels, raffles, a marketplace, viewings of upcoming movies and more. Visit www.mkehorrorcon.com for schedules and passes.
March 15—LGBT Crafternoon at Waukesha Public Library (321 Wisconsin Ave.): The team at LGBT Waukesha hosts this 1 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. gathering of crafters! Whether you bring a project you’re working on or take part in one of the crafts offered by the organizers, you’re sure to have a great time.
March 15—Absolut Drag Queen Bingo for MADACC at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): Join me and the team at Pop as we raise money for local animals in need. This special Saturday 5 p.m. bingo includes great prizes, savory food and fantastic beverages. Bingo is free but donations are welcome. Parking is made easy in the lot next to Pop. See you there!
March 15—Art*Bar’s Anniversary Toga Party at Art*Bar (722 E. Burleigh St.): This Riverwest gem is turning 21, and you’re invited to the 9 p.m. bash! Don your best toga as Art*Bar transforms into Animal House with a live band, cocktail and beer specials, and so much more!
March 16—Bi Café at Anodyne Coffee Roasting (224 W. Bruce St.): Swing over to The Lab area of this popular coffee shop, and you’ll likely find the solidarity you’re looking for. Enjoy a hot cup of joe while making new friends during the 9 a.m. mixer.
March 16—Queer Movie Classics: Chicago at The LGBT Center or SE Wisconsin (1456 Junction Ave., Racine): Enjoy a viewing of the hit musical Chicago as well as a lively talkback after the movie. Part of the center’s “Powerful Queer Women” celebration, the movie begins at 6:30 p.m.
March 16—Faire Folk Spring Revel at Best Place/The Historic Pabst Brewery (901 W. Juneau Ave.): Celebrate St. Paddy’s Day like never before when you hit up this ren-faire-themed fete. Don your best Renaissance garb or come as you are and take in everything from merry games, food and drink to the marketplace, live entertainers and more. See www.awkwardnerdevents.com for tickets and details regarding the daylong celebration.
March 16—"Schitt’s Creek” Drag Brunch at The Improv (20109 W. Bluemound Rd., Brookfield): Celebrate your inner Moira, Johnny, Alexis or David with this tongue-in-cheek drag brunch that pays homage to everyone’s favorite dysfunctional family. The LOL drag show starts at 2 p.m. with tickets available at www.improv.com/milwaukee.
March 18—FAB Support Group at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (315 W. Court St.): Fifty and better? Check out this support/social group for older adults! The conversation, mixing and mingling begins at 1 p.m. No need for a reservation or registration. Simply come and enjoy the afternoon with likeminded folks.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
