Ruthie with dogs
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I used to have a hard time remembering which came first; Memorial Day or Labor Day. A friend once suggested a little trick to help. (That’s called a mnemonic device if you’re fancy.) Thanks to him, I remember that Labor Day is last because it starts with an “L”. A silly way to think of it, but it’s how I remember that Labor Day is the last holiday of summer; and thus, the end of summer.
Ugh! Even typing that sucked. The…end…of… summer. Oh, well. At least we’re only a few weeks away from sweater weather, theater season and pumpkin-spice mania. Yes. Let’s maintain a good attitude about summer turning to fall. After all, there’s plenty of good times to be had in the city. Let’s squeeze out the last bit of fun summer has to offer and get ready to celebrate fall!
Dear Ruthie,
I’m a single 38-year-old man, and every time I go on a dating app, I feel like I’m shopping for used furniture. Does it even make sense to keep trying? The dates end poorly, and things feel hopeless. I’m not sure what else to do.
Any input?
Perpetually Swiping
Dear Swipe,
Honey, dating apps are like rummage sales: There’s treasure, there’s trash and everyone lies about the condition of their wares.
Being single at 38 isn’t a failure—it means you’ve had 38 years to learn what you like. Don’t date because you’re afraid of being alone; date because you’re curious about another human being. Date because it’s a night out of the house. Date to explore a new part of the city. Date to make a connection and possibly a new friend.
Stop treating first dates like auditions for The Bachelor. Go have a drink, share a laugh and see whether you experience each other’s company. Romance can come later. And if it doesn’t? You at least got to enjoy a few cocktails.
Dear Ruthie,
I’m gay. My family keeps saying they’re “fine with it,” but then they make little negative comments toward my new boyfriend. What do I do? Should I confront them? Let it go? It’s bugging me but I don’t want to cause waves when things are going OK.
Thanks,
Tired of the Side-Eye
Dear Tired,
I get it, sugar-booger. Hearing someone say, “I’m fine with it,” isn’t exactly a pride parade. You don’t have to convince your family that your relationship deserves respect. You can calmly tell them, “You don’t have to understand everything about my life, but you do have to treat the person I love with kindness.”
Stick to that boundary. After all, boundaries aren’t walls. They’re fences with gates. Sometimes that gate is wide open; sometimes it has a lock. Give people room to grow, but don’t let them use your heart as a community garden, honey pie.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
September 3—Absolut Drag Queen Bingo at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): I host this weekly bash that raises money for local charities alongside bingo, prizes, music, laughs and more. This week, our sponsoring charity is Milwaukee Repertory Theatre, so c’mon down at 7 p.m. and support this valuable part of the city’s art scene.
September 5—Showtune Saturday at Woody’s (1579 S. Second St.): The team as Woody’s celebrates the Great White Way during this 2-6 p.m. party. Get in on the fun with singalong videos, a beer bust and more. Enjoy the best of Broadway the first and fourth Saturday of every month.
September 7—Annual Labor Day Party at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Bid summer adieu with this bash. Free with purchase of a beverage, the barbecue buffet opens at 1 p.m., followed by two-for-one cocktails at 3 p.m. Haven’t been to Harbor Room in a minute? Labor Day is a great time to check it out!
September 9—Blood Drive at MKE LGBT Community Center (161 S. First St.): It’s never been easier to help the local community. Drop by any time from noon to 6 p.m. and make a quick, easy and painless donation that truly helps the city.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
