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Dear Ruthie,
The older I get, the harder I find it to get enthusiastic about other people’s happiness. I had a hard time putting these emotions into words, but this is the best I can do. It’s as if other people’s success makes me mad and jealous. I can’t get happy for them in the least.
At first, I thought this was me becoming older and bitter but that doesn’t sit right with me. I try to be happy for others, but I can’t. I’m cynical and sort of mean. I worry my attitude will cost me friends.
What’s wrong with me?
Old Bitter Queen
Dear Queen,
Being envious of someone else’s success is quite common. Allowing that jealousy to seep into day-to-day life is not. By admitting there’s a problem with your emotional outlook, you have already taken a step forward.
Try doing nice things for the people you’re jealous of. Celebrating their success might help you over the hump of bitterness you’re feeling. Next, start looking at what those folks have done to reach their level of success, and appreciate their efforts. See what you can learn from their achievements and apply those lessons to your own goals.
Speaking of which, set goals! Look at your hopes and dreams and set some steppingstones for yourself to help you achieve your dreams.
Try counting your own blessings and expressing more gratitude for the good in your life. Not only is practicing gratitude great for your wellbeing but you’ll instantly feel happier and less concerned about what’s going on in someone else’s life. Consider starting a gratitude journal and use it daily.
Similarly, celebrate your own successes! Don’t wait for someone else to pat your back! Pat that bitch yourself! You go, girl! You rock, and you should celebrate that. Whether you got a promotion at work, achieved a personal goal or simply brewed yourself the perfect cup of coffee, take a moment and celebrate you!
If you’re still feeling overcome by jealousy, see a professional therapist. He or she can help you dig a bit deeper, offer some exercises and help you become your best you!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
March 21—Later Life Lesbian Discussion Group at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (315 W. Court St.): If you came out later in life, you might want to consider this safe, friendly support group. The free 7-8:30 p.m. discussion is open to all, so see mkelgbt.org for more.
March 23—Miss Exquisite Wisconsin Pageant at LaCage Niteclub (801 S. Second St.): Local legend Candi Straton hosts this denim-and-diamonds themed evening of glam. The 9 p.m. pageant includes categories such as evening gown and talent as well performances from a bevy of special guests, making this a night to remember.
March 23—“An Evening with Sir Tim Rice” at Skylight Music Theater(158 N. Broadway): Multiple Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony-award winner Sir Tim Rice has delighted musical theater and film fans for generations. From Evita to Aladdin, his lyrics entrance audiences worldwide. Not only will Sir Tim reflect upon his illustrious career, but he’ll be joined by some of the Skylight’s favorite performers, each bringing his songs to life on stage. Call the box office at 414-291-7800 for tickets and VIP meet-and-greet packages.
March 23—Cream CityPAH Mosh Lessons & Social at Woody’s (1579 N. Second St.): Into pet and handler play? Meet CreamCityPAH! Milwaukee’s social group for pet play enthusiasts. Attend this 7 p.m. lesson and mixer and get to know others in this community.
March 24—Pink Hat Party at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Celebrate the Wisconsin LGBTQ History Project with this 6 p.m. fundraiser that keeps the emphasis on fun. Raffles, drag performances, music, drink specials and more make it a great way to cap off the weekend.
March 25—Adam Ant with The English Beat at The Pabst Theater(144 E. Well St.): Party the night away with this 8 p.m. concert. Relive your glory dance days like never before with Adam Ant’s “AntMusic 2024” concert. See pabsttheatergroup.com for tickets.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
