Jack Frost may not blow a white Christmas our way, but we’re still celebrating the arrival of the beard in the sparkling red suit…Liza Minnelli! No, no, no. I’m talking about Santa, of course. The hipsters behind the city’s LGBT scene are making sure you have plenty of ways to meet and greet the big guy this week. Take a look at the weekly happenings to see for yourself, but first I’d like to share an email I received from someone concerned that his boyfriend is taking “Ho, ho, ho” the wrong way.
Dear Ruthie,
I think my boyfriend is hooking, as in prostitution, as in escorting, as in whoring. He always had a bit of white trash in him, but I liked him and thought he was a decent guy. He also seemed oddly interested in how escorting worked.
Now he’s spending short periods of time with older men, and he has a lot of cash at the ready, which he never had before. He has lame explanations regarding the money, won’t let me tag along when he meets up with these new “friends” and behaves suspiciously overall. Any thoughts on how I can get to the bottom of this? (No pun intended.)
Thanks,
A Certified Trick
Dear Tricky Dick,
So what if your guy turned his ass into an ATM? Everyone needs extra money during the holidays. If you were smart, you’d host an open house between his legs and cash in!
Not exactly what you want in a partner? I guess you better open your merry mouth and start communicating, honey! Tell him you’ve got some serious concerns about his new friends and the coincidental money in his wallet. Stay calm, maintain an open mind and give him the benefit of the doubt. If you still feel he’s making merry and putting the ho in “holiday,” then move on, and look for someone you trust.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Dec. 17: ‘A Kodachrome Christmas’ at The Northern Lights Theater (1721 W. Canal St.): What are you waiting for? Local favorite John McGivern is donning a red wig and cat-eye glasses (hey…wait a minute…) to become Earlene Hoople in this comedy. Laugh your way toward the holidays with this must-see show, but hurry! The run ends Dec. 19. Visit paysbig.com/shows for tickets.
Dec. 17: Women Exploring Options in Love Workshop at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Helping adult, partnered women cope with mixed emotions regarding sexual orientation, this 7-8:30 p.m. group meets on the third Thursday of every month. Interested in attending? Call Devin Thomas at 414-292-3072 or email avp@mkeLGBT.org for more information.
Dec. 17: The Winter Formal at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Deck the halls in a dapper and dashing way with this fundraiser for Project Q. Hosted by Jacob Bach and “RuPaul’s Drag Race” maven Max Collective, the 9 p.m. affair includes a raffle, drink specials and new warm drink menu items. Partygoers are encouraged to dress in wintery formals and have fun!
Dec. 19: Breakfast with Santa at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Join Mr. Claus while noshing on eggs, sausage, waffles and more during this change-of-pace get-together. Doors open and the drinks start flowing (booze, coffee, beer, juice—you name it!) at 8 a.m., with breakfast available until noon. Sit on Santa’s lap and tell the popular polar bear just how naughty you’ve been!
Dec. 19: Santa Bear Party and Toy Drive at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): The guys of the MAUL leather social group are ready to rock around the Christmas tree with an annual Toys-for-Tots party. You’ll visit with Santa, meet with a bootblack and more in exchange for your toy donation. The good times start at 10 p.m.
Dec. 20: ‘Mary’ Christmas Party for Ruthie’s Kennel Club at Hamburger Mary’s (2130 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): Celebrate the holidays with me, and help Wisconsin’s animals at the same time. Twenty dollars gets you a choice of entrées, dessert and seating for a kooky holiday review, featuring me, Karen Valentine, Myami Richards and Toyota Corona! Shop the indoor Christmas Bazaar (open at 5 p.m.), win prizes during the ugly sweater contest and ring in a good time! See bit.ly/ruthiexmas for tickets or pay $30 at the door. Seating for dinner starts at 6:30 p.m. with the show at 7:30 p.m.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Learn more about her animal charity, Ruthie’s Kennel Club, at ruthieskennelclub.org.
