Dear Ruthie,
I married the love of my life when same-sex marriage became a reality in Wisconsin. I’d like to tell you that it’s been a fairytale since our “I dos,” but that’s not the case. My wife has turned into a drunk. I admit that I realized that this was going on before we hit the altar, but not to this degree.
While I thought perhaps there were issues before, they have become clearly known in the last few months. Worst yet, is that things seem to get worse around the holidays and I fear what I’m in for now that the holidays are here. She’s worse than ever now. She doesn’t think there’s a problem, but there clearly is. What can I do to get her some help?
—Seeking Sobriety
Dear Sober,
My heart goes out to you, sweet pea. I’m no therapist, darlin’. I’m just a big-boned redhead in Capri pants who watches too much “Judge Judy” and reads Fabio novels. (Do people remember Fabio?) Regardless, you should turn to a professional when it comes to advice on alcohol dependency.
I will say, however, that you should start by taking care of you. Consider Al-Anon to get some support for yourself. Al-Anon is a free nationwide support group for those dealing with someone with alcohol issues. There are numerous groups throughout the city.
You’ll be amazed at the feeling of relief, camaraderie and support you’ll find with such a group. I know it’s hard but you need to take care of yourself to best deal with her alcohol issues. Such a group can provide you with the materials and support needed for you to take effective next steps in getting you and your honey some help. While it’s difficult “to let go and let God,” give it a try via the support of such a group, and you’ll be able to deal with the struggles at home a bit better.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Dec. 7: Be OUT Night at the Skylight Music Theatre (158 N. Broadway): Don’t miss this delightful pre-show reception for the LGBT community and friends. For $40 you’ll receive an A-level ticket to the musical La Cage Aux Folles, free appetizers and drink specials. Then, enjoy the toe-tapping, rib-tickling musical that has all of Milwaukee talking. Get your tickets at skylightmusictheatre.org.
Dec. 8: Intergenerational Chat Night at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): The community center is bringing LGBT folks of different generations together for a chat-filled social hour. Come ready to discuss the past, learn about current struggles, share experiences and more during this 6 to 8 p.m. social. Open and free to all, this change-of-pace night includes snacks. That’s right! I said, “snacks!”
Dec. 10: Made in Nerdwaukee Craft Fair at 42 Ale House (3807 S. Packard Ave.): This ain’t your momma’s craft fair…unless your mamma is into geeky, steam-punky, one-of-a-kind crafts. Don’t miss this salute to nerdy delights. Local artists show their wares from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Dec. 10: Holiday Bash and Revue at Fluid (819 S. Second St.): Deck the halls fabulous with the boys at this popular watering hole! The cheery customer appreciation party kicks off at 6 p.m. with a sing-along featuring Two Queens and a Whole Lotta Vodka. A wintery drag show hits the stage at 7 p.m. featuring Phaedra Free, Shawna Love, Jon Alan and others, including me…Dear Ruthie! See you there!
Dec. 11: Christmas & Customer Appreciation Party at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Celebrate the season at this friendly L/L bar. Co-hosted by the Argonauts of Wisconsin, this 2 to 7 p.m. good time includes drink specials, a DJ and most important, a visit from a sexy Santa and his nasty elf! Free food (and cookies!) round out the festive fun.
Dec. 11: Transgender Gala at La Cage Night Club (801 S. Second St.): It’s empowerment a-go-go during the fourth annual celebration of our Transgender brothers and sisters. Free food, dancing and zero cover charge make this a night everyone can enjoy! Join the gala that runs 6 to 11 p.m.
Dec. 11: ‘Winter is Coming’ Drag King Review at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Not only has Hamburger Mary’s moved, but the team behind Mary’s Kingdom moved its Drag King revue to Sunday. Join this cast of holiday hotties as they chill out during this wintery wonderland. The show starts at 7:30 p.m., but arrive early to enjoy the free video games at Mary’s Beercade.
Dec. 13: 50 & Better Dining Club at Story Hill BKC (5100 W. Blue Mound Road): Make new friends, toast the holidays and raise a bit of cheer at this dinner club that’s open to all over the age of 50. Organized by the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, the 6 p.m. dinner is a great way to usher in the season. Jingle your bells over to the restaurant and see for yourself!
Drop Ruthie a line at DearRuthie@Shepex.com, and share your problems or tell her about an event she might want to share in this column.
