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Dear Ruthie,
I’m a lesbian and I’m currently dating a woman who still talks to her ex-partner every day. She says they’re just friends, but I have to admit that it makes me totally jealous. Am I being unreasonable?
Thanks,
Green-Eyed Girl
Dear Greenie,
I don’t think you’re being completely unreasonable, but your email doesn’t give me enough info to truly dive into what ‘s going on here.
I will say that jealousy can sometimes be your brain waving a little red flag at you. Your brain is saying “Hey...sugar! Let’s take a closer look at this.”
The issue isn’t whether she talks to her ex—it’s whether the two of you have agreed on boundaries that make you both feel secure in the relationship.
Discuss this with your honey. Tell her what specifically bothers you without demanding that she cut out her ex completely. After, all this is clearly someone special/important in her life. If her response is, “You’re crazy,” that’s not communication. Reiterate your feelings and how these phone calls or texts affect you. See if there’s a middle ground the two of you can come to.
I’d also suggest possibly getting to know the ex yourself. Your concerns may be put at ease once you better understand this person.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
September 9—Fall Kickoff at Story Hill Firehouse (407 N. Hawley Road): Welcome sweater weather this 4 p.m. celebration that ushers in all things fall. Enjoy live music, appetizers, a spritz bar and more as you usher in everyone’s favorite season.
September 11—Kacey Musgraves Middle of Nowhere Tour at Fiserv Forum (1111 Vel R. Phillips Ave.): The LGBTQ+ favorite rolls into a Cream City with this stop on her tour. If you’re a fan, get ready for an incredible night. If you’re new to Kacey, come see why she’s dominated The Grammy Awards and country music overall for the last few years. Tickets to the 7:30 p.m. concert are available at www.ticketmaster.com.
September 11 & 12—TosaFest 2026 at The Village (7615 W. State St.): The village of Wauwatosa is celebrating 50 years of fun, and you’re invited to the bash. The two-day street party incudes numerous stages of live entertainment, a food court, beer gardens, vendors, art, a kid zone and more. See www.wauwatosavillage.org for details.
September 12—Pale Horse Pride Ride at Harley-Davidson Museum (400 W. Canal St.): Check out this motorcycle run that raises awareness for mental wellness and suicide prevention. Not only does the ride support such causes in Milwaukee, but it features alcohol-free stops. Registration begins at 10 a.m. with the ride at 11 a.m. Don’t have a motorcycle? Follow along in your car! See www.priderides.org for more.
September 12—Puerto Rican Festival of Wisconsin at Henry W. Maier Festival Park (200 N. Harbor Drive): Incredible food, live music, cultural performances, salsa dancing … you’ll find it all at this lakefront fest. Gates open at 11 a.m. with the fun running all day long. See www.prfestivalwisconsin.com for tickets, entertainment lineups and more.
September 13—KINK-tember at Woody’s (1579 S. Second St.): The Castaways leather club host this beer busts that allows you to be you. Whether you’re proudly out and kinky, curious about the scene or somewhere in between, this is your chance to mix and mingle with likeminded people. The party runs 3-7 p.m. with live demonstrations, a beer bust, raffles, food and more.
September 13—Opening Night The World Goes ‘Round at Milwaukee REP/Stackner Cabaret (108 E. Wells St.): Savor the music of John Kander and Fred Ebb wit this delightful musical featuring some of Broadway’s biggest showstoppers. Nab tickets at www.milwaukeerep.com before the show closes November 1.
September 14—Emmy-Award Viewing Party at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): Join me for a night of fun as we walk the red carpet. Let’s raise a toast to our favorite shows alongside games, prizes, cocktails, and Pop’s popular menu of pizza, mac & cheese and finger foods. The fun starts at 7 p.m. See you there!
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
