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Dear Ruthie,
I'm bisexual and newly out. How do I tell my family?
(Signed)
Nervous in New Berlin
Dear Nervous,
Tell them when you are ready. Not when Aunt Doreen is ready. Not when social media is ready. Not when Mercury is in retrograde.
Begin with people who always offer support. This will build your confidence and remind you that coming out isn't a performance review. You're sharing information, not applying for a job.
Remember, too, that some folks need time to catch up, and that’s fine. You spent years figuring yourself out. Give them more than a few minutes. If anybody reacts badly, come sit by me, honey. There’s always room at my trailer park.
Dear Ruthie,
I'm a bisexual woman married to a man. People say I'm not queer enough anymore. I hate that but I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to change anything about myself but I’m being made to feel like I’m supposed to. Am I?
Thanks,
Still Bi
Dear Friend,
If a Packer fan moves to Arizona, they're still a Packer fan, right? Granted, they’re a bit more sweaty, but they still love the green and gold. Similarly, your identity didn't disappear because of who you married.
Some folks see relationships like a coloring book. They think everything has to stay inside the lines. Life is messier than that. You belong in LGBTQ+ spaces. Anybody who says otherwise can take a long walk down a short pier.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
September 3—Older Adult Drop-In Day at MKE LGBT Community Center (161 S. First St.): Calling all older adults looking to make connections! Stop by this 12:30-3:30 p.m. open house, and you’ll find plenty of friendly faces within the local community. In addition to great conversation, you’ll enjoy games, snacks, mixing and mingling, and more. Email aging@mkelgbt.org for details on the free afternoon.
September 7—Annual Labor Day Party at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Bid summer adieu with this bash at an LGBTQ+ hot spot. Free with purchase of a beverage, the barbecue buffet opens at 1 p.m., followed by two-for-one drinks at 3 p.m.
September 12—Pale Horse Pride Ride at Harley-Davidson Museum (400 W. Canal St.): Check out this motorcycle run that raises awareness for mental wellness and suicide prevention. Not only does the ride support related causes in Milwaukee, but it features alcohol-free stops. Registration begins at 10 a.m. with the ride at 11 a.m. Don’t have a motorcycle? Follow along in your car! See www.priderides.org for more.
September 14—Emmy Awards Viewing Party at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): Join me for a night of fun as we walk the red carpet. Let’s raise a toast to our favorite shows alongside games, prizes, cocktails, and Pop’s popular menu of pizza, mac & cheese, finger foods and more. The fun starts at 6 p.m. with showtime at 7 p.m. See you there!
September 19-20—Freshwater Food & Wine Festival at Henry W. Maier Festival Park (200 N. Harbor Drive): There’s a new fest in town, and you don’t want to miss it. Enjoy world-class wines, craft beverages and top-rated culinary greats at this two-day fest. Celebrity chefs, live entertainment, tasting events and more make this a must for wine lovers across the state. See www.fwfoodandwine.com for tickets, schedules and more.
September 26—Pride Night for Gypsy at Skylight Music Theatre (158 N. Broadway): Often considered one of the greatest musicals of all time, Gypsy kicks off a season of Pride Nights at the well-loved Third Ward theater. Nab your special Pride-Night ticket, and you’ll have access to my “Ruthie’s House of Burlesque” revue before the big show, in addition to premium seating for the musical, food, beverages and more. See www.skylightmusictheatre.org for tickets.
September 28—Boi Bingo at The Den/LaCage Nite Club (801 S. 2nd St.): Join ultra-sexy Easton Boyd for this alternative to drag queen bingo. Enjoy numerous free games in addition to prizes and plenty of drink specials when try your luck during the 7 p.m. night.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
