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Dear Ruthie,
I need some advice. I met a man shortly after my long-time partner died. I was vulnerable, sad and confused. I needed someone. I knew he had a crush on me, and even though I didn’t feel the same toward him, we began a sexual relationship. I know this was mistake, and I’m sorry I led him on.
Now, however, he wants to pursue a relationship and take things beyond a friendship. I don’t have romantic feelings for him, but I don’t want to lose his friendship. I've gone too far and don’t know what to do.
Help!
Lost & Confused
Dear Confused,
It’s easy to make mistakes when we’re lonely or desperate or confused (or hungry or horny in my case). While you may have led this man on, I also don’t think you should beat yourself about too much. Admit you did wrong, learn from it and move forward.
The “let’s just be friends” speech is as old as time. Have a heart to heart with your buddy and explain that you see him as a friend. Stop the sex, too. No more leading him on in or out of the bedroom. You deserve to find a man you love, and he deserves a man who loves him.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
December 14—Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce Holiday Soiree at The Hyatt Regency (333 W. Kilbourn Ave.): Visit the VUE Rooftop Ballroom and indulge in the spirit (and spirits!) of the season with this yuletide celebration. Appetizers and craft cocktails help make this glitzy 4:30 p.m. event one you’ll never forget. See www.eventbrite.com (search Milwaukee Area Holiday Soiree) for tickets.
December 15—Holiday Party at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Don’t miss your chance to sit on sexy Santa’s lap during this popular party. Doors open at 3 p.m. with the party lasting all night long so you’ve got plenty of time to raise a toast with the crew at Kruz.
December 15—Bryanna Banx$ Emeritus Showcase at Five Nightclub (5 Applegate Court., Madison): This monthly drag show makes a trip to Madison well worth your while. Featuring the state’s top performers, the 9:30 p.m. showcase is free but reserve a $20 table for the best spot in the house. Simply email fivetickets@yahoo.com to hold yours.
December 16—The Big Gay Holiday Market at Wisconsin Rugby Complex (4064 Vilas Road, Cottage Grove): 'Tis the season to for shopping! Check out this 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. marketplace featuring dozens of LGBTQ+ vendors. Featuring everything from pottery and paintings to coffee to candles, it’s a great way to cross everyone off your Christmas list.
December 16—Pride Ride Wisconsin Motor Mayhem at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): A fundraiser for Hunger Task Force, this 3 p.m. party includes raffle prizes, drink specials, shots and the infamous prize wheel. Join local LGBTQ+ motorcycle riders, help others in the process and party the day away!
December 16—A Xanadu Holiday at LaCage Niteclub (801 S. Second St.): The cast of Skylight’s “Xanadu” drops in on the Bosom Buddies event for a 4 p.m. show that’s sure to shake up your social calendar. Reconnect with old friends, make a few new acquaintances and celebrate the magic of the season.
December 16—Winter Grooves & Glam: A Night of Live Music & Drag at Company Brewing (735 E. Center St.): At 9 p.m., the band Would You Kindly hits the stage for a jam-fest you won’t forget. In addition, drag queens from across the state join the band on stage to amp-up the fun. The evening includes a $10 door charge with funds being donated to the MKE LGBT Community Center.
December 19—Nuncrackers at Milwaukee Repertory Theater/Stacker Cabaret (108 E. Wells St.): The hilarious Little Sisters of Hoboken are back, putting a yuletide spin on their “Nunsense” fun. Featuring parodies of your favorite Christmas carols, a laugh-out-loud secret Santa contest and a version of the Nutcracker ballet you’ll never forget, this family-friendly show closes January 7, so save your seats now at www.milwaukeerep.com.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
