Photo Credit: Allen Halas
Dear Ruthie
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Dear Ruthie,
I’m 62 and single after a long marriage (to a man). Meeting someone I connect with is impossible, and dating apps feel juvenile for a woman my age. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like old news. Any tips for meeting women?
(Signed)
Desperately Seeking Someone
Dear Desperate,
Sweetie, you’re not old news. You’re vintage “Vogue.” Try volunteering, checking out the many programs at the MKE LGBT Community Center or joining a book club. Look into adult classes and senior-friendly queer events.
There are some apps that filter for age and intent. If you give them a try, don’t diminish your age and experience and be upfront about what you’re looking for.
Most important, don’t beat yourself up. Confidence at 62 is smart and sexy, and you have all you need to make some lucky lady very happy.
Dear Ruthie,
I love femme presentation, but my partner fetishizes it and won’t respect my boundaries, particularly in the bedroom. What do I do?
Hurt, Lost & Angry
Queen Vicky
Dear Queen,
Always remember, honey, you are a human being. You are not a costume at Comic-Con. A partner who doesn’t respect boundaries isn’t a very good partner if you ask me. Partners love and respect one another in all facets of life.
Talk to your partner and be specific. Tell them what’s off-limits, as well as what’s hot and what really churns your butter. If they pressure you, that’s selfishness—not love. A partner who fetishizes you over your feelings is choosing desire over dignity. You pick dignity every time, sugar.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
March 20—Cocktails 101 at Saint Kate The Arts Hotel (139 E. Kilbourn): Head over to one of the coolest, swankiest hotels in the city, step behind the bar at The Studio Kitchen, and learn how to whip up cocktails like a pro. The $90 class includes plenty of drinks as well as a charcuterie board and loads of fun. See www.saintkatearts.com to register.
March 21—Fur Ball at The Cooperage (818 S. Water St): Friends of MADACC host this upscale fundraiser to help the city’s dogs and cats. Cocktails, dinner, dancing, and all the mixing and mingling you can handle wait for you at the 6 p.m. bash. See www.friendsofmadacc.org for more.
March 21—Spring Plant Swap at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): If your green thumb is itching for warm weather, you won’t want to miss this change-of-pace event. Join the gang from MKE Plant Club from noon to 4 p.m. Bring a plant to swap or stash some cash to buy yourself a new plant. You’ll also find one-of-a-kind pots, plant supplies and more. Enjoy Pop’s craft cocktails, pizza and finger food, too!
March 21—RuPaul DJ Set at the Rave/Eagles Club (2401 W. Wisconsin Ave.): Drag mother of the universe sashays into Milwaukee for a DJ stint, making for one of the greatest dance parties the city has ever seen. The 9 p.m. bash includes guest DJ Chomper, so you know a hot night is bound to be had. Stop by www.therave.com for tickets.
March 21—Latin Night at Walker’s Pint (818 S. Second St.): Addictive Latin beats fill the air during this 9:30 p.m. bash sure to become the highlight of your weekend. See why this women’s bar remains a hot spot in Walker’s Point when you take in the fun every first and third Saturday of the month.
March 22—Voices of the Next Generation Drag Show at Club Five (5 Applegate Court, Madison): Experience what the next generation of entertainers has to offer with this family-friendly drag show in Mad City. The show starts at 4 p.m. but be sure reserve a table by emailing fivetickets@yahoo.com.
March 24—Opening Night The Wiz at Marcus Performing Arts Center (929 N. Water St.): The high-intensity revival that has the country talking makes an exciting stop in Cream City during this national tour. Relish the much-loved tale an entirely new way when you secure tickets found at www.marcuscenter.org.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
