Back in June, on PrideFest’s opening day and just an hour before the event’s opening ceremony, a federal judge struck down Wisconsin’s anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment. Coincidentally, American Civil Liberties Union’s Chris Ahmuty was on the dais for the opening ceremony. He would receive the PrideFest Medal on behalf of that organization’s work for the LGBT community and, in particular, for marriage equality. Within a week, 500 Wisconsin same-sex couples had tied the knot. Then, the state’s attorney general filed an appeal. A stay went into place. Another ruling for Wisconsin’s marriage equality followed in September. That too was promptly appealed. Weddings were on hold and those that had taken place had still not been recognized. At best, it seemed, the Supreme Court of the United States would decide in June 2015. Then, later in September, the court declined to even hear the appeal. Suddenly, Wisconsin’s shotgun wedding equality was a done deal.
So now what? For decades LGBT couples have joined for better or worse. It was sometimes a recognized civil union or an unofficial, backyard commitment ceremony. Now, the reality of marriage equality opens a new and unfamiliar realm. Like other LGBT rites of passage, there aren’t any tried-and-true traditions to rely on. We can adopt straight marriage rituals and etiquette, adapt them to our specific sensitivities, or create entirely new ones. Chances are we’ll take one from column A and two from column B.
Some time ago, no doubt contrived by a straight person, a local magazine’s shocking gay marriage cover featured a pretty lesbian couple in traditional matching white bridal gowns. But that, along with bridesmaids in fuchsia (or chartreuse) and ushers in crushed velvet azure tuxes might not be the way we go. On the other hand, formal bib overalls or leather kilts aren’t the best alternative either.
The matter of a couple’s married name seems to have already found resolution in having both names hyphenated. Around here, the result can have either a suitable ring of Teutonic royalty, like Tuntenburg-Schwulenheim (adding a “von” in front would be a fun gay thing to do), or a bound-up vowel Polish Trzetrzelewska-Kleszczynska.
Meanwhile, as we contemplate the ceremonial technicalities, the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce is holding a Wedding Expo, the first of its kind in Wisconsin. It came about even before the Supreme Court decision. It seems a same-sex couple was planning their wedding and was refused service by a vendor. They turned to the LGBT Chamber of Commerce to help them find wedding industry businesses that shared their values. That spawned the wedding expo. According to the Chamber’s Executive Director Jason Rae, based on Illinois figures that predict up to $100 million in gay wedding spending in three years, Wisconsin can expect $30 million. A total of 53 gay and gay-friendly photographers, florists, event planners, caterers, venues, churches and even an adoption agency will show how Wisconsin is truly open for business, the LGBT wedding business.
