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Dear Ruthie,
I met a younger man (I’m 53; he’s 24) and instantly fell in love. Things were great the first few months, but then he told me he wanted an open relationship. He also suggested a “don’t ask/don’t tell” scenario regarding affairs outside our relationship. I said, “No way” and he called me boring and basic.
He’s now threatening to end our relationship. I love him and think he’s the man for me, but I need to convince him that this is not the route for us. What can I say to him to make him see the light?
Boring & Basic,
Brad
Dear Brad,
I hate to break it to you, sugar, but this is not the guy for you. You both clearly have different expectations of a relationship, so a long-term situation likely isn’t in the cards for you two.
I’m not saying his expectations are wrong and yours are right. I’m saying that they’re just not compatible. I’m also not saying it’s your age difference; although, as you both get older, your ideas of a perfect relationship might change. Don’t wait for that change, however. If you’re both unwilling to give on your relationship expectations, it’s best to move on and find a Mr. Right looking for the same commitments you need from a relationship.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
August 14—“Respect! A Tribute to the Queen of Soul” at Cathedral Square Park (520 E. Wells St.): Part of Jazz in the Park’s Soulful Summer series, this ode to Aretha Franklin promises to get you on your feet and make musical memories. The free concert starts at 6 p.m.
August 17—Muumuus & Mimosas at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): Grab a muumuu and your besties and get ready for a Sunday Funday for the books. Join the Pop team (also donning their finest muumuus) from noon to 4 p.m. for bottomless mimosas, drag queens, craft cocktails, day drinking and more!
August 17—OutReach Magic Pride Festival 2025 at Warner Park (1681 Northport Drive, Madison): Keep the pride love flowing with this 1-6 p.m. bash in Mad City. The all-ages fun features live performances, vendors, food and more. Swing by www.outreachmagicfestival.org for details.
August 18—Dita’s Disco at LaCage Niteclub (801 S. Second St.): Local legend Dita Von kicks off her monthly show with this 6 p.m. event. (Doors open at 5 p.m.). Kick off your Saturday night with hits from the ‘70s alongside Dita and her special guests.
August 21—Matteo Lane at the Milwaukee Improv (20110 Lower Union St., Brookfield): One of the country’s quickest rising comics (and one of the LGBTQ+ community’s favorite funny men), Matteo Lane returns with this must-see show. Get tickets to his 7 p.m. standup at www.improv.com/milwaukee.
August 22-24—Mexican Fiesta at Henry W. Maier/Summerfest Festival Park (639 E. Summerfest Place): Three days of fun await the moment you step through the gates of this popular fest. The live music alone is worth the price of admission, not to mention all of that fantastic food! See www.mexicanfiesta.org for more.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
