Happy National Coming Out Day! (It’s Sunday, Oct. 11). Once again, it’s time to celebrate who we are!
Still, leading up to this auspicious day we’ve had a flurry of unfortunate reminders that coming out might not be what it’s made out to be. Take handsome actor Matt Damon’s recent pronouncement that LGBT actors are better off staying in the closet. He pointed to the career-damaging impact of coming out and how it takes the “mystery” out of it all. He should know. Then there was that secret meeting of homophobic marriage equality opponent, Liberty Counsel’s cash cow Kim Davis and Pope Francis; it seemed she had found an ally. At first we were duly appalled. Apparently, though, we weren’t the only ones blindsided. According to the pontiff’s people, Davis was really just one of dozens who fleetingly met the pope and got her rosary as a parting gift (it’s probably hanging on her rearview mirror now). The real secret meeting was between the pope and a couple of gay guys. And, it looks like the archbishop who thought it smart to punk the pope might get fired for it, too. What was clear was the pope’s statement on conscientious objection. If the insalata mista of papal messages seems confusing, consider the Vatican monsignor who, in the spirit of objecting to his vow of celibacy, announced he was gay and happily dating. He did get fired.
Meanwhile, what of outing others? Respectful LGBTs argue no one should judge a person’s motivations to keep their sexual orientation hidden. Some parents still threaten to kill their children if they’re gay and many LGBT people still endure institutionalized job or housing discrimination.
That’s enough to be cautious about outing others. But, once a person deliberately contributes to political or religious homophobia as an act of personal camouflage, the gloves come off. I know of such cases. A highly respected official throws his 16-year-old gay son onto the street. Left to fend for himself, the boy survives by doing the things we fear most. Later, that official is caught in a comprising position with a young male. He gets off the hook by retiring. Case closed. Does sacrificing a child to protect one’s professional reputation warrant outing? Many might say yes. What about the priest who parrots anti-gay dogma from the pulpit at Sunday mass and then hurries out to pick up his boy-toy? While the reverend revels with his lover that sermon may drive someone to suicide. Should he be outed?
We’re heading into a major election year. LGBT rights are already playing a major role in the campaign. We are targets. Our hard-fought freedoms are on the line and threats to them cannot be taken lightly. Perhaps it’s time to heed the advice of our prodigal governor and begin our own campaign to divide and conquer. It’s not a very palatable strategy but there’s much at stake. Besides, remember when a Republican colleague outed our own Steve Gunderson, a western Wisconsin Republican congressman, years ago? Today we’re all better off for it.