Dear Ruthie,
I’m totally crushing on the guy who rented the flat upstairs from me. I told him I was gay, and he got this sort of happy, excited smile on his face. I don’t know if he likes guys or not, but he’s so damn sexy, and I feel like he’s flirting with me all the time. I don’t want to make the wrong move, but I feel like he’s not going to make the next move so someone has to do something, right? What should I do?
Thanks,
Downstairs Boy
Dear Basement Boy,
Whew! Someone turn down the thermostat because it sounds like your house is heating up! Tread carefully, sweetie, because the wrong move could make your living situation quite uncomfortable. If the two of you are hitting it off, simply invite him out for a few drinks (maybe with a few friends) or ask if he wants to grab a cup of coffee sometime. Get to know him a bit better as a friend before you cast your line into his man pool.
Dear Ruthie,
Did you hear that Craigslist put an end to their personals? No more Craigslist hook-ups for me! I refuse to pay for a hookup app. What’s a horny guy to do?
—Anonymous Andy
Dear Whore,
Looks like its time for someone to start riffling off a little knuckle juice on his own. Sorry honey, but you’re going to have to leave your home and interact with people for a little dirty-dirty. Otherwise, you’ll have to burp the worm, clean the rifle, tickle the pickle, ram the ham and honk your own horn. Free Willie and white knuckle it, sugar. Not only is it the ultimate in safe sex, but you can get it over with and get on with you day. (Cross that off your to-do list!)
But really...why not get out there and meet folks face to face? You may just meet your Mr. or Mrs. Right. So, leave your bald bishop alone for a bit, and hit the town. See my social calendar below and make some new friends...and then have sex with them.
RUTHIE’S SOCIAL CALENDAR:
April 7: ’90s Pub Crawl on Brady Street (at various locations): Tie on your LA Gears and grab your friends for a 4-10 p.m. pub crawl up and down Brady Street. Check in and pay the $20 entry fee at Nomad World Pub (1401 E. Brady St.), and get ready to enter the costume contest, enjoy drink and food discounts, and so much more. Stop, collaborate and listen...and party on!
April 7: Bearracuda at The Jackhammer Complex (6406 N. Clark St., Chicago): After a five-year break, the nation’s largest Bear circuit party hits the Windy City with guest DJs, go-go boys and all the beefy, beardy men you can handle. The dance party starts at 10 p.m. (and runs until 5 a.m.!) before moving on to the next city. The adults-only night involves a $10 cover.
April 8: LGBT Community Center Fundraiser at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Make it an afternoon to remember at This Is It when Dita Von hosts raffles, music and more, all to benefit the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center. Join the 1-4 p.m. fun where 25% of the drink sales go to the charity.
April 8: ‘When in Rome’ Toga Party at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Slip into your sexiest bed sheet and get ready for a sassy Sunday Funday! Those in toga (or Roman Empire gear) receive free raffle tickets, but everyone can take advantage of the popular beer bust during the 3-7 p.m. party.
April 9: Cream City Foundation’s Revised Tax Code Workshop at Cream City Foundation (1543 N. Second St., Suite 414): Learn about tax code revisions in relation to charitable giving, and how you can benefit from these changes. The team at Cream City Foundation offers up experts to explain the revisions to you and help with your estate planning. The 5:30 p.m. workshop is free and open to the public, but just be sure to RSVP to jwalters@creamcityfoundation.org first.
April 11: LGBT Chamber of Commerce’s Coffee Connection at Charles Allis Art Museum (1801 N. Prospect Ave.): Grab a cup of joe before work during this 8-9 a.m. networking opportunity for LGBT business owners, supporters and friends. Swing by, make new connections, meet smiling faces and start your day on the bright side of the rainbow.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com and follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester.
