Ruthie with dogs
Dear Ruthie is proudly brought to you by C3 Designs — Award Winning Fine Jewelry. C3 Designs offers a variety of services performed in-house, including custom jewelry design, jewelry and watch repair, appraisal, pearl and bead stringing, engraving and flip guards. C3 Designs is the winner of the Jewelers of America 2019 CASE Award.
Sometimes, we forget about the “B” in the LGBTQ+ community, and that’s a shame. Below, two bi readers share emails about struggles they’re having. Let’s take a look together.
Dear Ruthie,
I’m a proud bi woman, but I totally feel invisible in queer spaces. I hate it. I’m part of this community, too, so why do I feel so out of place? I’m trying to figure out if it’s me or everyone else or if I’m just imagining the whole thing.
Help!
Lonely Laura
Dear Laura,
Your email actually hurts. You broke my heart a bit, if I’m being honest. It just kills me when members of the community don’t feel they fit in.
I hate to say it, sugar, but I’m afraid you are not imagining things. Bi invisibility is real and exhausting. Remember: exclusion doesn’t mean you don’t belong. It means the spaces you’re frequenting or the people you’re hanging with haven’t caught up yet.
Seek out bi-affirming social groups, spaces and communities, even if you have to hunt a little. (Look into the local group Bi+ Pride Milwaukee, for example.) Speak up when you have the energy and feel safe. Move on when you feel invisible. Don’t settle. Your identity doesn’t need approval. You belong exactly as you are.
Dear Ruthie,
I recently came out as bi to friends and family. Coming out itself wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I’m scared people won’t take me seriously when I’m finally in a same-sex relationship. Am I worrying about nothing?
(signed)
Desperately Seeking Sanity
Dear Desperate,
That fear comes from real nonsense you’ve probably seen before. It sounds like your family and friends are supportive, so hopefully your fear will not come to be reality. In other words, don’t sweat the things that haven’t actually occurred yet.
Anyone questioning you is revealing their ignorance, and hopefully you don’t actually have many of those people in your life. Be you. Be happy. Deal with the idiots if and when they show themselves.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
June 24— Laisser Voir Productions Presents: Sespresso-The Steamiest Burlesque & Drag Show at Anodyne Coffee (224 W. Bruce St.): Want a little bump with your grind? Don’t miss this 7 p.m. show (doors open at 6:30 p.m.) that’s sure to spice up your week. Order a cup of the Kind Blend, and 10% of the proceeds will be donated to the MKE LGBT Community Center. See the events area of www.anodynecoffee.com for tickets and details.
June 25-26—Lucy Darling at Marcus Performing Arts Center/Wilson Theatre at Vogel Hall (929 N. Water St.): Carisa Hendrix stars as internet sensation, quick-witted diva, magician extraordinaire, and overall fun-lovin’ dame Lucy Darling. See why she’s the queen of crowd work during her show Simply Darling. You can also catch the starlet in Lucy Darling: All That and More at the Marcus’ Todd Wehr Theatre June 27 and 28. Check out www.marcuscetner.org for details behind both productions.
June 26—JJ’s Ryde or Die Drag King Show at Pop (124 W. National St.): JJ ORyder hosts this monthly drag king event that spotlights some of the city’s top entertainers. The fun starts at 10 p.m. but get there early to enjoy Pop’s incredible cocktail menu.
June 27—Sheboygan Pride Picnic at City Green (710 New York Ave., Sheboygan): Take a road trip to Sheboygan for this picnic that keeps the pride love flowing. Live music, food trucks, performances and more make the noon-7 p.m. annual event so popular.
June 28—Pride on Brady (various locations on Brady St.): Pride on Brady is back and bigger than ever. From shopping, food and beverages to music, drag performances and more, there’s plenty to see and do during this awesome street party. The fun begins at noon and runs all day long, making it the perfect way to wrap up pride month.
June 30—Golden Girls Trivia at County Clare Irish Pub (1234 N. Astor St.): Grab your cheesecake-eating friends and settle in for a night of prizes, laughs and friendly competition. Think you know everything about America’s favorite foursome? Test your knowledge during the 8 p.m. trivia night.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
