Dear Ruthie,
I’m trying to save money so my boyfriend and I can put down a deposit on a house. My goal is to get a house first, get that out of the way and then get married. We’ve been dating for just more than nine months, and I’m trying to move us in the right direction.
The issue is that he spends money quicker than we make it. Every time we get anything into our savings, we end up spending it on credit card bills. We are always fighting about money. Granted, he is 15 years younger than I am, but I’m trying to teach him about money. I tell him that if he has a solid understanding of money now (he’s 24), it will enhance his life greatly when he’s in his 30s. This is not going over well.
I’m at a loss, and I would appreciate your input, guidance and wisdom.
Thank You, Insufficient Funds
Dear Funny Funds,
Money is the number one thing couples fight about...followed by wallpapering and kayaking. That said, the fact that you’re fighting about money isn’t particularly strange, sugar.
I think the greater question is why you want to purchase a house with someone before you’re married? If you’re fighting now about buying a house, are you sure this is the right relationship for you? What if you buy property together, only to realize wedding plans aren’t in your future? Now you’ve got a mortgage together! It might behoove you to put the house on the back burner and focus on whether marriage is a possibility.
I also think the difference in your age isn’t helping this situation. At your age, you’re ready for a house, you’re thinking of your future, and you value money in a particular way. At his age, he’s likely not thinking about a house, he’s living in the very present and sees money differently than you.
Now, don’t get your tighty-whiteys in a bunch, Daddy Warbucks. I’m not saying he’s wrong and you’re right or vice versa. I’m just saying this is an area where your ages could be adding a little honey to an already sticky situation. It’s up to you to figure things out moving forward, so start examining the issues behind the problem and focus less on the problem itself. OK? OK!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
June 26—Battle Royal at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): The war is about to begin with this 10 p.m. drag-off at the popular LGBTQ nightclub. Watch hopeful divas battle it out on stage before the audience decides who moves on to the next round and ultimately claims victory. Don’t miss this first installment of this local lip-sync royale.
June 28—Brandi Carlile at BMO Harris Pavilion (Summerfest Grounds): Mix together a pinch of rock, a hint of R&B, a dash of folk and cup of country, and you’ve got the Grammy-winning style of Brandi Carlile. The out-and-proud songstress rolls into Cream City with an 8 p.m. concert that’s sure to make for a great night. Grab your tickets at ticketnetwork.com.
June 28, 29, 30—Wisconsin Comic Convention at the Wisconsin Center (400 W. Wisconsin Ave): The cosplay, anime and comic cultures have blended seamlessly with the LGBTQ community, making this convention a success for all. Grab your superhero drag and check out the three-day fest; you can nab your $30 tickets first via wisconsincomicconvention.com/tickets.
June 30—Hawaiian Rooftop Tea Dance at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Everyone gets lei-ed at this rooftop bash! Music from the ’80s, ’90s and today makes the 3-8 p.m. afternoon a real ass-shaker but come for the booze (the sweet tea is crazy good), friendly guys and girls (ooh, la, la) and luscious luau fun. Join me for an all-you-can-eat brunch in the restaurant before, and you’ve got a Sunday Funday you’ll never forget.
July 1—Shrub Cocktail Class at Great Lakes Distillery (616 W. Virginia St.): See why these refreshing sweet-tart beverages are sweeping summer cocktail menus from coast to coast. The fruity rum drinks are sure to become your summer drink this year when you learn how to mix them up yourself. The 7-8:30 p.m. class includes a $25 fee, so nab your tickets via the “Tour & Events” page of greatlakesdistillery.com.
July 2—Lionel Richie and Michael McDonald at American Family Insurance Amphitheater (Summerfest Grounds): Get your ’80s on when two icons take over Summerfest with a 7:30 p.m. concert. The “Hello Tour” features all of Lionel Richie’s biggest hits, with Michael McDonald opening the incredible night. Swing by ticketmaster.com for seats, which start at $63.70.
July 3—Jennifer Lopez at American Family Insurance Amphitheater (Summerfest Grounds): The queen of all media shows us why she’s a goddess with her “It’s My Party Tour,” and she’s bringing it to Milwaukee! Don’t miss the superstar in action during the 7 p.m. spectacular, Visit ticketmaster.com for seats ($72.40-$334.65) and enjoy what’s sure to become the talk of the town.
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie.
