Ruthie with dogs
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Dear Ruthie,
I’d like to explore my kinky side, but my partner (3 years) is pretty vanilla. How do I approach the subject without making things weird?
Thanks,
Master Larry
Dear Sir,
You simply approach the subject without making things weird. You explain that you love your partner, and you want to make the most out of your relationship; that includes things in and out of the bedroom. Let him know that you’d like to spice things up a bit, and you hope he’ll give a few new things a try. Start slow and easy with activities he agrees to.
Ask if there are any new sexual activities he wants to explore and try those as well. Make him feel that he’s part of the process when it comes to switching things up in bed.
Once he’s tried something, talk about it. Did he enjoy it or was he uncomfortable? If things don’t work for him, don’t push it. Respect his boundaries and limits, and he’ll likely be more interested in exploring things with you.
Dear Ruthie,
I came out as bi last year, but now I think I might be a lesbian. Is it alright to keep questioning my sexuality?
(Signed)
Confused Carrie
Dear Car-Bear,
Ab-so-friggin-lutely! For many, sexual preference comes naturally with no thought at all. For others, it can be a journey of self-discovery. Enjoy the journey! While it may feel frustrating at times, it’s ok to investigate your sexuality to learn more about yourself and discover what feels right for you.
Accept the fact that it’s perfectly normal to question things and explore what’s right for you. Allowing yourself this time can relieve any stress or anxiety you may be feeling. If these “conflicting” thoughts become cumbersome or lead to depression or anxiety, consider seeing a professional therapist who can offer guidance, coping exercises and more.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
August 20—Pop & Play Game Night at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): Grab your joystick and hit the gay-borhood for a change-of-pace evening. Enjoy tournaments for Mario Kart, Street Fighter and Smash Bros., as well as prizes for those first to arrive. Games and controllers provided during the 7-10:30 p.m. party.
August 21—Matteo Lane at the Milwaukee Improv (20110 Lower Union St., Brookfield): One of the country’s quickest rising comics (and one of the LGBTQ+ community’s favorite funny men), Matteo Lane returns to the city with this must-see show. Don’t miss the hilarious hottie when he takes the stage at 7 p.m., just be sure to nab seats first at www.improv.com/milwaukee.
August 22—Mexican Fiesta at Henry W. Maier/Summerfest Festival Park (639 E. Summerfest Place): Relish three days of fun the moment you step through the gates of this popular fest. The live music alone is worth the price of admission, not to mention all of that fantastic food! See www.mexicanfiesta.org for more, included a lineup of entertainment.
August 23—Ride to Fight MS at Dick & Gloria’s Cocktails and Dreams (2201 S. 55th St.): The folks at Pride Rides Wisconsin are back with this fundraiser. Featuring five stops, the ride kicks off at 9 a.m. in West Allis and ends at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.). Raffles prizes at each stop make this event a great time. Don’t have a motorcycle? No problem! Enjoy the day when you follow along in your vehicle.
August 24—Summer Broadway Bash at Grace Downtown/Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church (1209 N. Broadway): Soak up every last bit of summer with this street bash involving food, live music, beer, wine tastings and more. The good times start at 11:30 a.m. and run until 4 p.m.
August 26—Rainbow Readers at MKE LGBT Community Center (315 W. Court St.): Love books? Love talking about books? Join this club and discuss your all-time favorite books and authors with likeminded readers. Get new recommendations on your next read, make new friends and support the center during the 7-8 p.m. gathering. Learn more (including digital login) when you see the events area at www.mkelgbt.org.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
