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Dear Ruthie,
My partner and I were happily living together for three years (not officially married) when I met a younger man and fell in love. I carried out a six-month affair with the younger man behind my partner’s back before being caught.
Now, my partner is making me choose. I suggested we try an open relationship or consider “dating” the guy together, but he is not interested. He says I have to choose, or he’ll leave me. I love them both and I can’t pick one. How can I choose?
Torn,
Just Joe
Dear Torn,
This is what happens when you get a little piece of chicken on the side—you want to go back for seconds and thirds.
Your partner doesn’t deserve this, and clearly things weren’t picture perfect at home or you wouldn’t have stepped out. That said, it’s likely best for you and your partner to separate. Agree on a time frame where you’ll both re-explore life, then meet up to discuss thoughts on the future.
Move out, take some time apart and get your head together. Right now, you’re enjoying a dreamlike relationship with your younger boyfriend. See what happens when you have 100% of his time. You may realize the grass isn’t greener on his side of the fence after all.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
April 30—Juno Birch: The Probed Tour at the Vivarium (1816 N. Farwell Ave.): The English drag sensation (and cyan goddess) brings her intergalactic comedy show to Milwaukee with an all-ages production. Transport yourself to axs.com for tickets to the 8 p.m. concert.
May 2—Adult Skate Night at Story Hill Firehouse (407 N. Hawley Road): Grab your skates get ready for an LOL night of music, mayhem and memory making. Skate the night away within Story Hill Firehouse’s intimate setting featuring cash bars, great music and more. See eventbrite.com for tickets to the 7 p.m. event.
May 3—'80s Ladies Party/Drag Show at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): Join me and Ramona the Drag Queen for this 4 p.m. bash celebrating the songs, fun and fashion of the ‘80s! Featuring nothing but music and videos from this popular decade, the monthly party includes a 5 p.m. ‘80s-inspired drag show, craft cocktails, a menu of finger foods and pizza, trivia, prizes and more.
May 3—Buffy Prom at The Fitzgerald (933 N. Marshal St.): Take your love of all things Buffy to new heights with an adult prom that puts the Vampire killer in the spotlight. The team at Awkward Nerds Events hosts this 7 p.m. bash, featuring craft cocktails, a live band, dancing, late-night snack bar and more. Strut over to awkwardnerdevents.com for tickets.
May 3—Queer Prom at South Second (838 S. Second St.): It’s the adult LGBTQ+ prom you’ve always wanted! Dance your heart out during the 7:30 p.m. prom while helping raise money for the Milwaukee Trans and Queer Depot. Enjoy DJs, snacks, drag performances, flash tattoos and more when you nab tickets via eventbrite.com. Your pass also gets you free access to the after-party at La Cage Niteclub (801 S. 2nd St.).
May 3-4—OVM Spring Concert 2025: The Art of Healing at Milwaukee Youth Art Center (325 W. Walnut St.): The city’s LGBTQ+ chorus Our Voice Milwaukee (OVM) presents this season concert that puts an exciting and enlightening twist on traditional choral productions. Three concerts make it a snap to see the production. See ourvoicemke.org for showtimes and tickets.
May 5—Cinco de Mayo Party at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Nothing kicks off the workweek quite like happy hour at Harbor Room. Enjoy two-for-one drinks 3-7 p.m. followed by specials on Corona and Modelo beers. Savor a free 4 p.m. taco/nacho bar as well (with drink purchase).
May 6—Live Trivia Night at Woody’s (1579 S. Second St.): Every Tuesday night, emcee Seymour Muchmore hosts a 7 p.m. trivia game that’s sure to be the highlight of your week. Play alone or bring a team, order some frosty beers or cocktails and put your knowledge to the test.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
