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Of all the emails I receive for this column, one of the most requested topics involves relationship advice. From breaking up to settling down, folks consistently ask for ways to make their personal lives better.
This time, we’ll review two messages about love. One reader looking for it and one reader hoping to keep it. Take a read and see what you think, and then check out my social calendar for some fun ideas sure to liven up your week!
Dear Ruthie,
I’m very politically active, including volunteer work and getting involved in protests. I’ve dated guys not as into political action as I am, and things didn’t work out. I made the decision to only date men who are as into activism as I am.
My friends say this is a mistake and that I’m limiting my dating options. What do you think? We all thought it was a good idea to ask you.
I hope you let us know what you think,
Phil & The Guys
Dear Phillip,
You do you, sugar puss! You want a guy who shares your interest in activism and politics? Go for it! Most people look for partners with similar interests, so I’m not sure what your buddies are worried about.
Just be sure you don’t completely shut yourself off from other potential suitors. After all, Mr. Right could be around the corner—regardless of his political interests. In other words, focus on the guys who trips your trigger at the protests but keep one eye open for other possibilities as well.
Dear Ruthie,
I’ve been with my partner for just under a year. Neither of us are on PrEP and we still use condoms. He wants to stop using them, but I’m not so sure. I’m afraid he’ll want to break up with me if I don’t give in.
What should I do?
Silver Rider
Dear Rider,
If you’re not ready to give condoms, don’t give them up! You don’t mention why you hesitate. Is he not monogamous? Is there an underlying health issue? What are your concerns?
Keep using condoms until you’re comfortable not using them, but explore what it is that has you concerned. (That seems the larger picture to me.) Also, talk to your partner about looking into the benefits of PrEP if that’s an option. That might be an easy solution you can both live with. There are numerous doctors throughout the city that can help you decide if this type of care is right for you. If condom use becomes an issue in the relationship, considering seeking couples therapy.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
August 28—Pride in the Park at Cathedral Square Park (520 E. Wells St.): Jazz in the Park gets a rainbow-colored makeover during this celebration of music, fun and acceptance. Mix and mingle from 5-6 p.m. before the free concert starts. Best of all, you’ll enjoy a special appearance by Our Voice Milwaukee, the city’s LGBTQ+ chorus.
August 28—Kevin James Thorton: It Was the 90’s Tour at Milwaukee Improv (20110 Lower Union St., Brookfield): See why this comedian took Tik Tok and Instagram by storm with his LOL recollections on growing up Catholic, gay and downright funny. Nab seats at www.improv.com/milwaukee.
August 29—"RuPaul’s Drag Race” RuWind at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): Kick off your Friday night with Ramona the Drag Queen at Pop. Each week Pop plays a previous season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” at 7 p.m. alongside drag performances, drink specials, food, craft cocktails and free shots!
September 1—Labor Day Cookout at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield): Raise a glass to the end of summer during this annual offering from the friendly team at Harbor Room. Enjoy a free barbecue buffet (with purchase of a beverage) at 1 p.m., and take advantage of 2-for-1 drinks starting at 3 p.m.
September 3—Wednesday Night Karaoke at Walker’s Pint (818 S. Second St.): Drinking and singing? What could be better? Hit up this popular Walker’s Point stop for some midweek fun. Enjoy $5 mini pitchers and other drink specials during the 9 p.m. bash.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
