I had a flashback earworm the other day. It was the Boston punk band, Human Sexual Response’s 1980 hit “What Does Sex Mean to Me.” (YouTube it…) It wasn’t merely out of the blue, actually. In fact, it was probably planted by a research study in which I recently participated. The study’s subject focused on gay sex in pandemic times.
It was an insightful and refreshing experience. For one thing, it was a live interview rather than a questionnaire. That allowed for candor in a real conversation. The odd thing is, although our LGBTQ identity is founded in our sexuality, or, more specifically, our sexual attraction to members of our respective gender identity, aside from bar banter and regaling tales of conquest, we still seem squeamish about seriously talking about sex.
But here’s the rub—the downside of our prudishness is made abundantly clear when looking for information about safer pandemic sex. One might expect public service announcement-like posts on the social media pages or websites of some of our LGBTQ community organizations. Logically, one would think, their interest would be in making such information easily accessible. To be fair, some cite general COVID-19 tips and precautions along with links to other resources. However, one webpage is woefully (and dangerously) outdated, advising the wear of a protective mask only if symptomatic.
Cool it Down
Meanwhile, at the pandemic’s outset, locals took COVID-19 seriously and jets were cooled. Dating app profiles often included the caveat about in person liaisons and many individuals indicated they were not prepared to meet in person for the duration. Most gay and lesbian bars in the city initially remained shuttered even after Mayor Barrett’s partial reopening decree on June 5.
Like the AIDS pandemic’s shift to safer sex practices, alternatives like ZOOM, sexting, and other remote means of communication without actual physical contact provided safe alternatives. Because even though COVID-19 does not seem to transmit sexually (as far as studies show for now), the problem of social distancing still presented an impasse for obvious reasons.
However, after months of relative celibacy, with many champing at the bit, caution has been thrown to the wind. The depression inducing realities of the political times, exacerbated by the isolation of the pandemic, compounds the Angst and anxiety we’re feeling. Intimacy in the form of a quick-fix sexual diversion is one tonic many people reach for as a reprieve, however brief. After all, needs are needs. Sex is back on the table.
Some have found safer sex in the use of masks. In fact, certain segments of the community were already using masks of various types as part of their sexual activities. Rather than seeing masks as infringements on liberty, they’re celebrated as expressions of liberation. Furries, the pup-master circuit, cosplayers and leather types among other fetishists are way ahead of the pack in that department. A pair of fresh N95 respirators hanging on the bed post, perhaps in erotic basic black, might soon be the future’s reassuring and obligatory sex aid.
Anyway, with the explosive surge in infections in Wisconsin and elsewhere, though, it may be worthwhile to peruse some official thoughts on the matter. While not LGBTQ specific the Milwaukee Health Department has a COVID-19 Coronavirus Sex Guidance page.
Play safe.
To read more My LGBTQ POV columns by Paul Masterson, click here.
