Photo courtesy of Hamburger Mary's
This week, Wisconsin again made international news when all but one of our conservative state Supreme Court justices voted to end Governor Evers’ “Safer at Home” order. One, Becky “I Don’t Care, Do You?” Bradley, even dropped the “T” bomb for tyranny, a right wing dog whistle, in her arguments against it. The hold-out voice of constitutional reason Brian “Snooker” Hagedorn, much to the chagrined collective ire of Republicans nationwide, dissented with a scathing rebuke.
No matter, once voided by the court, the order’s demise smashed the shackles of common sense and science, unleashing Wisconsinites to dash pell-mell to the nearest bar to belly-up, elbow-to-elbow and get back to pre-pandemic priorities. Life and limb be damned, one bar even forbade the wearing of face masks. Mercifully, Milwaukee’s Mayor Tom Barrett opted to replace Evers’ order with his own to protect the city’s health.
So, with mitigation still the rule locally, Cream City’s LGBTQs remain, for the most part, compliant and have embraced social distancing for the common good. And, while not offering the full sensory overload of the throbbing club scene, virtual options seem to be bridging the gap. With deference to distance, online drag shows are created by having performers record their sets individually. These are then combined into a Drag-a-Thon and broadcast on a Saturday night. LGBTQ churches, like Metropolitan Community Church and Zao MKE Church, live-stream or use YouTube to deliver their religious services. The Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce holds its networking events virtually as well. It’s all very responsible with many using the video conferencing app, Zoom.
Who’s Zoomin’ Who?
I was actually astonished to learn how widespread Zoom is. Boasting 300 million daily participants, whether on a one-on-one daily Zoom catch-up with a BFF or a cocktail party with dozens, the app provides a safe alternative to meeting in the flesh. Speaking of which, rumors of an imminent Zoom crackdown on virtual sex parties seem to be exaggerated. So, there’s no need to panic.
Anyway, now we can finally answer the question posed by Aretha Franklin in her 1985 hit, “Who’s zoomin’ who?” Apparently, it’s everybody.
But, there’s always a rub. Perhaps it’s the confluence of cabin fever and spring fever that has upped the ante but online dating apps seem busier than ever. Many are doing their bit, offering safer-at-home warnings as well as pandemically inspired membership deals. Still, while most people seem content to hold their horses, others are not and carry on regardless.
Then there are the hands-on professionals who now find themselves in a predicament. With turnover down, and no government relief check in sight, they continue to ply their trade with abandon. I’ve always been for legalized prostitution that, like in Germany, allows enterprising sex workers to pursue their careers as any other, paying taxes and undergoing mandated health checks while complying with OSHA-like safe-sex regulations. Unfortunately, in our quasi-theocracy, that’s unlikely to ever happen here in the USA. So, escorts still work their circle of regulars and beyond. Johns, for their part, may not realize the extent of their rent boy or girl’s network or, delusional as it may seem, presume exclusivity. Cavalierly speaking, the inherent risk of contracting an SDI comes with the territory.
However, today, with the ease of COVID-19 transmission, the danger extends beyond the johns and their courtesans to the greater community at large. Not surprisingly, there’s been no community PSA to address the issue.
To be fair, our national response to COVID-19 is a murderous mess. Why should it be any different here in Wisconsin? Meanwhile, the regime’s incoherent response and prioritized political calculus over a scientific one has trickled down and made us all involuntary extras for the sequel, And the Band Played On II.
