Into the Magic Night

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Art Kumbalek

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, this week I’ve got medical injection/scan schmutz up the jock and back, so I got to make these words brief what with a multi-hours-long fast I got to suffer like a regular Jesus, what the fock.

Apparently, word in the medical community here in my so-called golden years of age, indicates I may not expect to be pedaling a bicycle on picturesque bucolic country roads alongside a well-preserved silver-haired significant other. Nor will I be the patting the heads of soccer grandkids as they rush off the pitch to celebrate victory with an orange slice or two and a sugar-free juicebox.

Nor when said and done, how I will find an affordable empty GE refrigerator box so’s to maintain a modicum of residence down there on N. Van Buren St.

But it’s barely a new year, this 2026 I hear.

And so before I go and get back to the real work of cranking up the thermostat, mixing another hot focking toddy and telling bill collectors to go to hell, let me give you a handy tip on how to transition from a past year to a new one. Every New Year’s Eve me and the fellas get together with a couple, three cases of Rhinelander and at midnight, instead of the “Auld Lang Syne” we put the vinyl record “In Dreams” by the great poet Roy Orbison on the hi-fi full blast, and we dedicate it to all the people, places and things we won’t ever see again. We sing along over and over—ten, twelve, maybe fifteen times—until we’re bawling like babies. I don’t know why, but this tradition somehow gives us the strength to actually try to make it through another year. I figure you might like to try out our tradition sometime yourself, so I’ll give you Roy’s lyrics to make it easier to sing along, and holy cow, here’s one of those links a young person flipped me from the You Tube in case you don’t have the vinyl 45, hope it works:

A candy-colored clown they call the sandman

Tiptoes to my room every night

Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper:

“Go to sleep, everything is alright”

I close my eyes

Then I drift away

Into the magic night

I softly sway

Oh smile and pray

Like dreamers do

Then I fall asleep

To dream my dreams of you

In dreams... I walk with you

In dreams... I talk to you

In dreams... You’re mine

All of the time

We're together

In dreams... In dreams

But just before the dawn

I awake and find you gone

I can't help it... I can't help it

If I cry

I remember

That you said goodbye

To end all these things

And I'll be happy in my dreams

Only in dreams

In beautiful dreams

Once again, wishing you’s have a happy new year—hey, at my age I still like to think anything’s possible, what the fock, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.