Art Kumbalek
I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, this week I’ve got medical injection/scan schmutz up the jock and back, so I got to make these words brief what with a multi-hours-long fast I got to suffer like a regular Jesus, what the fock.
Apparently, word in the medical community here in my so-called golden years of age, indicates I may not expect to be pedaling a bicycle on picturesque bucolic country roads alongside a well-preserved silver-haired significant other. Nor will I be the patting the heads of soccer grandkids as they rush off the pitch to celebrate victory with an orange slice or two and a sugar-free juicebox.
Nor when said and done, how I will find an affordable empty GE refrigerator box so’s to maintain a modicum of residence down there on N. Van Buren St.
But it’s barely a new year, this 2026 I hear.
And so before I go and get back to the real work of cranking up the thermostat, mixing another hot focking toddy and telling bill collectors to go to hell, let me give you a handy tip on how to transition from a past year to a new one. Every New Year’s Eve me and the fellas get together with a couple, three cases of Rhinelander and at midnight, instead of the “Auld Lang Syne” we put the vinyl record “In Dreams” by the great poet Roy Orbison on the hi-fi full blast, and we dedicate it to all the people, places and things we won’t ever see again. We sing along over and over—ten, twelve, maybe fifteen times—until we’re bawling like babies. I don’t know why, but this tradition somehow gives us the strength to actually try to make it through another year. I figure you might like to try out our tradition sometime yourself, so I’ll give you Roy’s lyrics to make it easier to sing along, and holy cow, here’s one of those links a young person flipped me from the You Tube in case you don’t have the vinyl 45, hope it works:
Stay on top of the news of the day
Subscribe to our free, daily e-newsletter to get Milwaukee's latest local news, restaurants, music, arts and entertainment and events delivered right to your inbox every weekday, plus a bonus Week in Review email on Saturdays.
A candy-colored clown they call the sandman
Tiptoes to my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper:
“Go to sleep, everything is alright”
I close my eyes
Then I drift away
Into the magic night
I softly sway
Oh smile and pray
Like dreamers do
Then I fall asleep
To dream my dreams of you
In dreams... I walk with you
In dreams... I talk to you
In dreams... You’re mine
All of the time
We're together
In dreams... In dreams
But just before the dawn
I awake and find you gone
I can't help it... I can't help it
If I cry
I remember
That you said goodbye
To end all these things
And I'll be happy in my dreams
Only in dreams
In beautiful dreams
Once again, wishing you’s have a happy new year—hey, at my age I still like to think anything’s possible, what the fock, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.