Rustle of a Spent Wind

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I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, four focking years of Trumpel-thinskin and I’m hearing more-and-more talk of the possibility of a second American civil war. That doesn’t sound good, I’m thinking. Scuttlebutt-itry has it that the U.S.A. could become two independent countries—the blue states unite as one country, and the red states get together as their own country; one, that if I were president of Blue Heaven, in a somewhat weaker moment, would describe as one of those “shithole countries,” what the fock.

And now, faithful readers, for something completely different; this: A friend and overseas reader, German Joe (resides in Germany, wouldn’t you know, and has strong ties to our fair city, “The City that Always Sweeps”) recently attempted to respond to a recent essay of mine by way of the “Comments” box to be found at the bottom of each online “Art for Art’s Sake” essay. Now, either because of length restrictions imposed by the comment box or some other snafu, German Joe was unable to post his response. This cannot stand, and what follows is German Joe’s comment in full. And so, direct from the Vaterland, take it away G.J. and give us a piece of your mindful Weltenschwanzenderblitzenschraufenagel (or something like that) whilst, what with the untimely loss of the super Notorious RBG, I’ll be blowing the dust off my résumé for the supreme-court justice gig now recently opened. Pays $255,300 each and every year, yeah, I think I could survive on that kind of dough, each and every year. I’m thinking I might have a shot at the nomination, what the fock. I’ve had some experience here-and-there with law enforcement; parading around in a nice robe suits my lifestyle these days; and I’ve been known to swing a big gavel whenever a hotly contested verdict must be adjudicated but good.

Something Has Happened Here, or There…

When was America great?

By Joseph Hahn, Ph.D., August 25, 2020

As an immigrant child learning English in Wisconsin during the 1950s, I had the feeling that World War II was an important event. We had a television in 1955, which my father carried home from Sears—a mile away. It was first after our fifth year in the States that we could afford a car in 1957. I spent 18 months adjusting to society in kindergarten, an idea started by Margarethe Meyer-Schurz in Watertown, Wis., in 1856. Her husband Carl led a division of German-Wisconsin soldiers in the Civil War (against slavery), later became a senator from Missouri and was the first German-American cabinet member as secretary of the interior (under President Rutherford B. Hayes, 1877-1881).

My comments here stem from 10 years of study at several universities, as well as 25 years of teaching history and German. Those of us fortunate to be in the class of ’69 turning 69 in 2020 have learned about the great role the United States played in World War I, even though much of Europe was devastated by the time our soldiers reached the battle fields. At least the profits made from the sale of weapons made many Americans the newly rich. Somehow things went wrong with Prohibition and the Great Depression, but the U.S. was now the world’s leader without belonging to the League of Nations (President Woodrow Wilson’s idea).

The U.S. allowed two years to pass before championing the fight against Hitler in World War II. Of course, many more millionaires joined the ranks of investors and democratic thinkers, who helped produce the “baby boomers” and gave Western Civilization the consumer world of the 20th century. President Kennedy visited Berlin, established the Peace Corps and promised to put man on the moon. (For some reason the United Nations is still in New York City.)

What went wrong? Kennedy was shot in 1963, President Johnson brought Civil Rights, but Vietnam was now so damn important. That helped President Nixon spend more money on the military, and suddenly the world’s richest country had a “national debt.” Too bad about Watergate and the only president not involved in an election for that office (Gerald Ford was appointed after Vice President Spiro Agnew’s resignation). In 1977, Jimmy Carter had to step up and take democratic blame for inflation and hostages in Iran. How great are we now? Ronald Reagan saved everything by convincing us that the trillion-dollar debt was a stack of one dollar bills going all the way to the moon (but there’s nothing to buy there). Funny though, within five years he tripled that national debt with military spending (without a war, maybe Nicaragua or Panama, but ending the Cold War). See https://www.investopedia.com/updates/usa-national-debt/.

Then comes George H. W. Bush, who had by now spent 40 years in Texas looking for oil and helping develop the CIA. He expected people to read his lips on globalization, but had to explain how his family might be tied in with the “savings and loan” crisis (who remembers Neil Bush?), which cost the government several billion dollars—nothing compared to what happened at the end of George W.’s term. For some reason, the economy recovered during eight years of “republocrat” Bill Clinton, despite his escapades and the dismantling of many welfare programs.

Nobody will believe how Florida served to manipulate the election of 2000, but Al Gore should get some credit for the “information highway” and a renewed sense of ecology, even though many Americans will not consider that topic to be important.

The benchmark date of September 11, 2001, not only shows the world how terrorism operates but that we now can develop more conspiracy theories including weapons of mass destruction. These dangers lead to a new consideration of “homeland security.” We definitely need cameras everywhere, not just for shoplifting and other surveillance. No other country in the world has over 2 million people in prison.

The United States survived the first eight years of this century belligerently storming through Asia, a policy which President Obama continued while showing compassion for underprivileged people in the U.S. Again, it seemed like two democratic terms in the White House brought back decent fiscal policies.

Eleven-nine, 2016, has given us Trumperisms. Never before has the concept of “greatness” been damaged with such vehemence and aggressiveness. Most recently at the crazy convention on August 24, about 8 minutes into his speech this statement was made: “I took over a country whose military was depleted, the cupboards were bare”. Find me two generals on the Joint Chiefs of Staff who agree with that statement, and I will lay down my pen forever. While a third of the U.S. military has just been removed from Germany, this president has the nerve to laud the great stock market and new jobs while unemployment has crippled the masses with personal debts. There is no discussion regarding the costs of secret service agents and other covert actions contributing to the surge in the national debt. We cannot expect any magic from the Democrats, but common decency might enter the public discourse once more. Please, people, set up a checklist of facts regarding issues important to you, then take time to look at the findings from reliable people, not criminals and liars.

Danke, my friend. All that I can add is that you’s all do not forget to VOTE—mach schnell!—’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.