On Top of the World

And as a guy who`s known to have watched a lot of TV, seen a movie here and there, enjoyed the occasional dick joke, hacked his way through a thousand weekly words forever, claimed the lead in his pencil as a tax deduction; perhaps I ought to declaim a shallow-souled solidarity with the Tinseltown ho`s and put down the pen right here, right now.

On the other hand, if there`s any bigshot producers and directors looking for a guy to cross the line, I`d like to talk to you about a project I`m thinking of writing, called "Art Kumbalek vs. the Focking Martians and Whatever Else You Got." It could be a movie, a TV special, Broadway musical, series of motivational tapes.

Hey, you tell me. And then I`ll quickly tell the rest of you`s before I join the picket line until the cows come home, that I thank one and all of you for coming out tavern to tavern to support the recent "Art Kumbalek Democracy Express 2008 for Any and All Political OfficeWhatever You Got Needs Filling I`ll Fill It ‘Cause That`s the Kind of Guy I Am Campaign" appearances. I`ll tell you, the final stop last week at the fabulous Trocadero over by the Downtown/East Sidethe beauty of your presence there was such to force a tenth-tier candidate to wish upon a falling star for one more vision, I kid you not.

So the Democracy Express may roll once again sometime next year, what the fock. And if you weren`t present at this year`s denouement last week, you can pretend that you were courtesy of our buddy SteveO. Just grab a cocktail and get on your Internet over to the www.focktoberfest.com, or the http://www.youtube.com/isteveo, what the fock.

So don`t tell anybody you read any of this since I`m supposed to be on strike ‘cause I`m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.