Ask Ally
Dear Ally,
I’ll make this short and sweet. Every year, I make the same New Year’s Resolutions—lose weight and exercise more. And every year, I fail miserably at both. Can you give me any tips that will make this year different? Maybe in 2025, I could finally feel good at the end of the year and achieve what I really want in my life.
Failed Achiever
Dear Failed Achiever,
You are not alone. The Forbes Health/One poll survey found that the average resolution lasts just 3.74 months. Only 1% of people who set resolutions, keep them the full year. The good news is that every day offers you a fresh start to make positive changes in your life.
Let’s remember that New Years Resolutions, just like any small or big change we want to make, fall in the same category. They are inside jobs. We need to set ourselves up for success by building a strong foundation. Rather than loading up on specific tasks that we want to change, we must start with the basics. Here are my six steps to get you started.
F.L.Y.: First, love yourself—this one is the hardest, but most important step. I’ll make it easy and apply it to your resolution– lose weight. (It’s been ongoing on my list for years.) If I want to lose weight and I’m at a dinner party where I’m given a choice between fish and fried chicken, if I loved myself, I’d choose the fish because it’s the healthy option.
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When faced with a decision, ask yourself, if I loved myself, what would I choose? (Of course, this same line of questioning, can be applied to relationships and all other aspects of our life.) I know it’s easier said than done. But it’s an important start.
Let Go: When thoughts come up that consciously cause you stress, let them go. Your negative thoughts about yourself, and self-doubt do not serve you. When they creep into your mind, you can even say the word STOP. That allows your brain to shift gears. If a worry emerges, ask yourself: Is this something I need to be concerned about or can I let it go?
Retire the Judge: Our judgment of ourselves becomes our worst enemy. It will stop creativity or any life changes in their tracks. If we notice our judge creep into our thoughts, we can also say STOP, letting our brain think of something else.
Stay in Your Lane: We can support our friends without fixing their problems or rescue them from a crisis. Sometimes it’s easier to focus on others rather than ourselves. We justify the time it takes, because we’re helping someone in need. The truth is, that we are robbing the opportunity for our friend to learn and experience their own success if we do it for them. We can be supportive and cheer them on but let them do the work.
Be Inspired: Some days are harder than others. Those are the days we need something to inspire us and keep going on our life’s journey. Whether it be music, poetry or a cooking lesson, we need inspiration to make choices that will be good for us. This quote from Daily Om is one of my favorites: “The moment you change your perception (of yourself) is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body.” This quote gives me hope, because it reminds me that it’s never too late to start over. Even changing my thinking about something will alter my body for the good.
Joy: Joy is an essential ingredient in our lives. We all need joy. It’s what makes life fun and meaningful. It’s up to us to find out what brings us joy. Experts say that if we can do three things daily, that bring us joy, we are living a happy life.
When we feel good about ourselves, it’s easier to do good things for our life like eat healthy food and exercise. By following these six steps, you are building a strong foundation to love yourself and live a happy, healthy life. You can do this!
Here for you,
