Asta Timm, PLCC RN BSN
Dating seems to have become so complicated and overly superficial. I hear about all these first date rules, and it makes me mad! Why can’t I just be myself? I just want to be myself!
Dear Mr. Myself,
If I were to only keep track of every time I have heard the phrase, “I just want to be myself,” I would have an entire wall of hash marks. I usually aim for fun and light in responding, but I am going to be a bit hard on this one. I agree we should always be our authentic selves, but using that phrase is simply an EXCUSE! We use this for protection from failure as well as giving ourselves permission to remain in our comfort zone.
Moreover, your current self as is may just not be good enough. We should always be improving, growing and learning. That takes effort and work. So, using that dreaded phrase is a cop out. We need to try new things and embrace new approaches. If we change nothing, we get more of the same. NOTHING! So, if you want dating success, it is time to get real.
When we invest and work on our best selves, we can start becoming an even better version, and, well, who wouldn’t want to be with THAT? In turn, we attract better. When we are growing and transforming, we become more confident, happier and clearer on what we want. I can’t figure out how to easily explain the Universe and how it works, but it just does. What we focus on, we succeed at.
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You will hear me often say to my clients “Details Matter!” Do a self-check; a very thorough self-check. Perhaps one single thing alone doesn’t seem important, but the cumulative impact is powerful. In the business world, we hear of branding. What is your personal brand? How are you presenting your whole self—not just to dates, but to the world? This is where the magic happens!
So, what does this mean? Start by rating yourself 1-10 on the following areas (not just how satisfied you are but how happy are you in each): Physical Appearance (head to toe); Active/Fit; Healthy; Emotional Wellbeing; Wardrobe; Positivity/Attitude; Confidence; Finances; Hobbies/Interests; Career/Work; Humor/Playfulness; Family/Friends; Organization.
Now you know what areas to begin improving. Sometimes, we only want to be told what we want to hear. But as a coach, it is important to call out things that are holding us back! And this common phrase is just an EXCUSE.
Undertake the above challenge to begin your journey to extraordinary change. Lose the excuses! #NOEXCUSES
