Dear Shrink,
Everything in the news lately makes me really depressed. I feel like it’s getting worse, and things seem pretty hopeless. People are so angry and mean, and the divisiveness is really troubling and scary. I can’t believe some of this stuff is even happening. Everyone I talk to says the same thing. How do we cope with this craziness?
The Shrink Replies:
First, believe it or not, there are some people who feel that the current conditions in our country are just dandy. Many others however, like you, are shocked and appalled. I’ve seen a definite uptick in anxiety, panic, depression, anger, fear, helplessness and hopelessness. Lots of people are terribly distressed about what’s going on.
The temptation to follow every riveting update or tweet is compelling. There are so many colorful characters, multiple, simultaneous plotlines, tales of power, money, corruption, spies, sex… all the ingredients for a nail biting thriller. Sadly, though, this is not fiction at all but the reality we’re living in. Many people I talk to feel an added layer of significant stress from the “news of the minute” on top of whatever else is causing stress in their lives. So, how best to cope with all this?
Manage Your Consumption
Become a more deliberate consumer of the news. Obvious fixes like opting out of notifications on your phone or un-following your favorite political tweeters can help, but how about trying an even more mindful approach to staying in the know? Part of the reason we’re in such a divisive mess is because people typically access their information from sources that reflect their own biases. Once in a while, hold your nose and read or listen to the spin from the opposite end of your spectrum. Then, try to find sources of information that tell the story with less breathtaking hyperbole. A quick Google for “less biased news” will bring up things like BBC, Pro Publica, C-Span, Reuters and others. Taking the drama out of the equation will reduce the addictive rush that keeps you hooked into the story.
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Think Small
To paraphrase a concept from the early-’70s feminist movement, “the personal is political, and the political is personal.” Although we might feel helpless and powerless in affecting anything that’s playing out on the national or global stage, we can do small things in our community or personal sphere of influence to promote the causes and issues we value and wish to protect. Check out “Americans of Conscience” and sign up for their weekly newsletter. It’s full of things that may inspire you to action or just remind you that there still are people, working every day in big and little ways, to stand up for basic decency and respect for everyone.
Now, Think Even Smaller
Take a break from the things that depress and scare you and look around at the things and people that are in your immediate orbit. Remind yourself that, in any given moment, you can make the world a kinder place. When you’re triggered to flip off the person who just grabbed the parking spot you were waiting for, take a breath and ask yourself if spewing that venom is really going to make you feel any better. (Hint: It won’t, plus it makes the flipped-off person feel bad, too.) Hardly the kind of reaction that promotes peaceful coexistence. So, for every minute you spend catching up on the breaking news, spend a minute holding the door open for someone, adding an extra buck to the server’s tip, being thankful when the Sun shows up again after a couple of cloudy days. Micro-appreciate the world that’s closest to you, and there will be a ripple effect of goodness inside and out.
While we may be better informed today than at any other time in history, we have no idea how, when, or if all of this ruckus will end and how our world will change as a result. What is safe to say, however, is that this isn’t going to be resolved anytime soon. Batten down the hatches and do what you can in this storm to keep your mind and body strong and your spirits buoyed. Again, ratchet down the news intake if it’s really getting to you. Trust me, you won’t miss anything. Adjust your focus to the things you do have some control over. Spreading kindness is healing and restorative, and we’re all in need of that sort of medicine.
On the Couch is written by a licensed mental health professional. Her advice is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care.
Send your questions to onthecouch@shepex.com.
