A Less Thankful Thanksgiving

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Black and White Thanksgiving Dinner

By any measure, I have much to be thankful for and damn little reason to complain, but I’m about to. As Thanksgiving approaches, I’m preoccupied with thoughts that don't fit the occasion. My mind keeps returning to what I'd like to be thankful for but cannot.

You see, the gratitude that arises from my personal good fortune goes just so far. To be true to its name, Thanksgiving must be about blessings bigger than merely my own, those that flow not merely to any individual but to the less fortunate, the victimized, the wounded.

My melancholia and disquiet amped up when I was walking to my car outside some retail mecca. There I noticed a woman and two young children sitting in a rusty old beater.

The woman’s head was down, and she was obviously crying. The oldest of her little ones was trying to comfort her in that wonderful, awkward way children give solace to adults. The little one saw me staring and looked back with a woeful expression.

I approached the vehicle, leaned down and tried to make eye contact with the woman in distress. She looked at me briefly, but with a wave of her hand and a shake of her head, motioned me to move on. I did, albeit reluctantly.

Suffering Souls

This brief interlude reminded me of the legions of suffering souls who find our world an increasingly indifferent and unforgiving place. Granted, there are many good and caring people but, increasingly, our collective social well is poisoned by greed, hate and cruelty.

To assuage my disquiet, I conjured a list of what I'd like to be thankful for on Thanksgiving but, sadly, can’t be. A few examples:

I'd be thankful if we’d all act like grown-ups, trust the climate scientists, take responsibility for destroying the planet, and dedicate ourselves to saving it for our children and theirs.

I'd be thankful if exposure to the news wasn’t a constant invitation to be emotionally triggered by the enmity, divisiveness, avarice and ignorance undermining our social compact.

I'd be thankful if more Americans believed in and lived the principles that we tell others we stand for, like equality for all, justice for the oppressed, fair play, compassion for the downtrodden, honesty in government, and tolerance for differences.

Thanks For?

I'd be thankful if some men stopped treating women like sexual objects, viewing them as property to be used or even preyed upon. How long will girls and women be targets for sexual predators and misogynists?

I'd be thankful if some of us quit pretending to stand at the right hand of God and instead admitted nobody has all the answers, that we're all lost in our own way and, hopefully, will be found in our own way. Being a spiritual seeker is no sin.

I'd be thankful if we made certain no child, elderly or vulnerable person went without life’s basic necessities, food, clothing, shelter and health care.

I'd be thankful if some night while the world slept, aliens came and confiscated all our guns and weapons of war, saving us from ourselves.

I’d be thankful if the only thing that mattered in partnering was that you love someone, and the rest of it was mere details. Gay, bi, straight, whatever . . . just live and let live.

I’d be thankful if kindness was the defining principle of our politics and culture. We’re all in this together and need each other to make the best of it. Otherwise, we all lose.

This list could go on. There's no shortage of things that need fixing and people in need of healing. I know, we should be grateful for what we have, and many of us are. But being a citizen and neighbor doesn’t just mean taking care of oneself and one’s own. So, I’ll keep wanting more to be grateful for. Not for me. For us.

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