Beauty Is in the Eye of the Retailer

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Image by salim hanzaz - Getty Images

Slender woman looking in mirror

"Even though she’s slim and very pretty, our daughter is obsessed with her weight, appearance and clothes,” one mom told me.

While not anorexic or bulimic, the 16-year-old in question was typical of most females in our society, not just adolescents. Studies show a majority of women, from pre-teens to many seniors, ruminate about being overweight (if they are) or worry about becoming overweight (if they are not). 

Recent research shows even slender ladies who are not consciously obsessing about their body image often still do so at the subconscious level. Comparing the brain scans of such females with those of their anorexic and bulimic counterparts shows similar patterns of applicable neural activity between the two groups, although it is far stronger in those with outright eating disorders.

Translation? Even women who conform to our ridiculously rigid and unhealthy cultural standards for feminine beauty still worry, albeit subconsciously, about their appearance. Why? Look no further than the barrage of visual messaging in advertisements and throughout various media, particularly the social version that young people frequent. Aggressively promoting women’s unease about their looks is big business, accounting for over $480 billion in annual revenue. Immersion in this kind of messaging deeply ingrains this insecurity in the psyches of far too many women.

Men More Satisfied

And guys? Not so much. Most men, with the notable exceptions of body builders and “hard body” types, do not obsess about their body image. Surveys indicate, overall, men are far more satisfied with their looks than women, whether their girth and overall appearance warrants such positive self-regard or not. Is this an innate gender difference? No. All evidence suggests body image is culturally mediated rather than built in. That’s code for brainwashing.

“My husband and I have tried reasoning with her and have pointed out how she compares to other girls who are less petite and pretty, but it’s like she doesn’t see her actual form in the mirror,” mom lamented.

“Your argument may be rational, but it’s no match for the tidal wave of images and messages she receives from the culture at large, and playing the comparison game with her won’t change that,” I suggested.

Slender Only

Most of those messages indicate that slender is the only acceptable standard for a woman’s weight, and that the slightest deviation in this regard should be cause for self-criticism and corrective action. Gladly, realistic images of women, including those considered large, increasingly populate TV programs, ads, movies and the like, this in deference to the body positivity movement. Still, compared with most “this is what beauty looks like” messages, they remain a trickle.

Do some women manage to reject society’s onerous ideal and adopt their own standard for what constitutes a “beautiful me?” Thankfully, yes, but brain studies and social surveys suggest they are a minority. In fact, even among those who have seemingly thrown off the psychological yoke of body image oppression, many retain it to some degree at the subconscious level.

“What can we do to help our daughter?” her mother asked. 

In most instances, it’s best to avoid focusing on the individual’s body image and overall appearance or comparing it to others, as this often backfires. Instead, engage them in a discussion about all the beauty brainwashing from the media and culture at large. Point out that there is money being made in feeding their insecurities, meaning the unrealistic images of what constitutes beauty are biased and financially self-serving. Hopefully, the individual will come to recognize how absurd, prejudicial and hurtful these messages are for women in general. In turn, encourage them to be their own person rather than a pawn in a marketing game. 

In other words, challenge the perpetrator (our culture), not the victim.

For more, visit philipchard.com.