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Exactly what is a psychological defense mechanism? As the term implies, these invisible sleights of mind protect us from perceived mental and interpersonal threats and are universal. Why so widespread and popular? They often work as advertised but using them sometimes comes at a price.
Consider denial. This mental version of sticking one’s head in the sand is evident in people who build their dream homes on earthquake fault lines or flood plains, among COVIDiots who refuse to wear masks, motorcyclists riding without helmets, reckless drivers, and so on. While a few of these folks may harbor an unconscious death wish, I suspect most just tell themselves it ain’t gonna happen to them. Maybe not, but it’s going to happen to somebody, so why not them?
Denial is a psychological blindfold we use to ignore obvious risks or disturbing truths about ourselves or others. Too often, denial sets us up for a rude awakening. Bad stuff happens, particularly when we put blinders on. But facts are no match for defense mechanisms. So, some text while driving, smoke cigarettes, chase their losses at the casino, have unprotected sex with multiple partners, binge drink, etc. All these and many other reckless pursuits depend on denial, which generally persists until unwelcome consequences make it impossible to keep those “not me, not today” delusions intact.
Next, there’s dissociation, which is just a fancy word for mentally and emotionally checking out. It’s like numbing your mind, which can come in handy when feeling overwhelmed or with a toxic person. You see this a lot in hyper-stimulating environments, like airports. Weary travelers are in sensory overload, so their minds disengage from their surroundings. It’s kind of the psychological equivalent of going into a safe room. Oh, and we use smartphones to dissociate from our environment all the time.
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Out to Lunch
Another common venue for dissociation is business meetings. Usually, one or more in attendance are mentally out to lunch and present in body only. This wards off the brain-numbing blather that too often consumes much of the airtime in these venues. In a more serious vein, this defense mechanism can arise from emotional trauma. When the mind is confronted with some horror that overwhelms its coping capacity, it zones out. That can prove useful in the short run but becomes problematic when chronic. Another common scenario for dissociation is in dysfunctional relationships. When people repeatedly emotionally trigger each other or simply tire of their respective stuff, they often head for the mental exit. Again, a safe space thing, but one that does not bode well for the bond.
Then there’s rationalization, which is among the most oft-used defense mechanisms. In the movie The Big Chill, when Jeff Goldblum’s character is scoffed at over his assertion that rationalizations “are more important than sex,” he replies, “Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?” He’s onto something. We use this mental mechanism to make excuses for our less-than-stellar behavior (“I didn’t mean it”), and it’s how we protect ourselves from criticism or rejection, whether from others or one’s own inner critic. Examples are ubiquitous (think about some politicians), but the obvious danger in rationalization is deflecting ownership and responsibility for our untoward actions.
There are other defense mechanisms, but I can’t overlook projection. This occurs when we perceive a flaw in someone else when, in fact, it is actually our own. As the term implies, like a movie projector, the mind projects something unrecognized in itself onto someone else in an act of “not me” self-deception. Projection is the underlying dynamic behind hypocrisy—criticizing or condemning others for faults we possess, as well. Trapped as each of us is in our idiosyncratic version of reality, projection also emerges when we assume others experience the world as we do. Not.
We all employ defense mechanisms, sometimes harmlessly, but other times to our detriment or peril. As often proves true, the key to avoiding unhappy consequences from denial, dissociation and the rest is self-awareness; recognizing which defenses we use, when and with whom. Absent that, having our psychological shields up also means we’re flying blind.
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