Know It Alls

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Man admiring himself

Narcissist people, extreme self involvement too much confident disorder, so proud attitude egocentric person, narcissism businessman admire himself and proud of his crown with love and stars around.

Consider these excerpts from a series of revealing conversations. 

Me: "It's felt mighty cold lately." 

Dave: "Not really. The daily average temperature this year has been several degrees above normal." 

Me: "I sure enjoyed watching Grumpier Old Men." 

Dave: "It was a typical, boring sequel. Same old formula." 

Me: "It was a beautiful sunrise this morning." 

Dave: "That's an illusion. The Sun doesn't actually rise. Our position on the Earth, like all others, rotates in relation to the Sun." 

What Do You Think? 

Get the drift? Dave did not agree with people, except in rare instances. His vocabulary lacked simple phrases like "Yup" and "Sure is" and "Me too." He never asked others what they thought. 

"You'd make a lousy therapist," I once told him, and before he could disagree, I added, "Because you don't know how to nod and say uh-huh." 

I don't mean to misrepresent the man, who was decent in many respects. And he would agree with you if you agreed with him, but not without adding two more cents. Even when you expressed an opinion he mouthed moments earlier, Dave wouldn't let it be. He had to add, embellish, qualify, or otherwise tinker with what you said, even though it echoed, maybe even mimicked, his own words. 

Me: "You're right. The Sun doesn't rise. The Earth rotates." 

Dave: "And it also slowly wobbles as it rotates, which is why we have seasons." 

Superior Facts? 

Dave typified those folks who are convinced their views and “facts” are superior to that of others, who feel compelled to flash their supposedly superior intellect, who must utter the proverbial last word on every subject. For them, verbal interactions are a mental game of king-of-the-mountain, one they feel compelled to win. 

While know-it-alls project an air of unshakeable confidence, deep down they often lack the real deal. Behind their psychological curtain of certainty, many are riddled with insecurities and self-doubts. 

A truly confident person can handle not knowing everything, allows others to have the final say on occasion, and maintains a reasonably open mind. In contrast, folks who pretend to possess all the answers work diligently to prevent others from discovering they don't. For them, to be unmasked in this regard would be a very uncomfortable form of psychological disrobing. 

So, what is one to do with such a person? The patented advice is to assert oneself, to respectfully point out the offensive and condescending quality of "I’m always right" behavior.   

Unfortunately, this is often a bust, largely because these folks regard anyone's critical feedback as an affront to their know-it-all pretense. You can't tell them anything they don't know because, from their vantage point, they already know everything, including all matters pertaining to themselves. 

Rhetorical Avoidance 

When direct feedback fails, I practice avoidance or, in extreme and unrelenting cases, resort to satire and rhetorical questions like "Are you preparing to be on Jeopardy?" and "Is your brain directly linked to ChatGPT?" and "When was the last time you asked somebody an open-ended question, other than yourself?"   

After running a few of these at Dave, his self-defined exceptional intellect caught on. 

Dave: "You think I'm a know-it-all, don't you?" 

Me: "That’s a very astute observation on your part." 

Dave: "Well, I'm not. You're completely mistaken." 

Me: "I believe you just proved my point." 

It’s ironic that the best summation I’ve heard about know-it-alls comes from Piet Hein, a Dane who was a mathematician, inventor, poet, designer and author. In other words, he was a highly accomplished person who could claim he knew a great deal yet was humble. In referring to know-it-alls, he said: “Those who always know what’s right are a universal pest.”