Philip Chard's Out of My Mind column is sponsored by AllWriters' Workplace & Workshop, which offers online classes in all genres and abilities of creative writing, as well as coaching and editing services. You can read past columns here.
Many of us feel at the mercy of our thoughts. Phrases such as “I can’t stop thinking about it” or “my mind is racing” or “I worry all the time” are but a few common complaints to this effect. Like certain other organs in the body, without exercise and training, the brain becomes undisciplined and, too often, unruly. We feel jerked around by our own cognitions, as if they are beyond our control, because, for many of us, they are.
This tendency is amplified when in challenging or anxiety-provoking circumstances, such as the pandemic. I’ve chatted with many folks who say their thoughts lock on to the fear, divisiveness and worry that seems ever-present in our midst, and they feel hard-pressed to distract themselves, let alone focus on positive or useful thinking.
“It’s tough enough limiting exposure to all the scary happenings out there,” one client told me. “But even when I tune all that out and retreat to the privacy of my thoughts, my mind keeps replaying everything bad that has happened, that could happen or that has been lost. It’s relentless.”
Most of us find it easier to discipline our bodies than our thoughts. We can adopt exercise routines, healthy eating, good sleep habits and other bodily self-care that improve our physical well-being. However, the brain often proves far more challenging. Left to their own devices, one’s thoughts can leap willy-nilly from one focus to another: what some neuroscientists call “monkey mind.” Or cognition may lock on to one recurring idea or theme and refuse to let go, creating a sort of mental whirling dervish in the psyche.
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Unruly, Unhelpful Thoughts
Lots of us mental health types advise people to take charge of their thought processes by practicing specific cognitive disciplines. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is designed to rein in and modify unruly and unhelpful thoughts. Another increasingly popular approach, mindfulness meditation, works to slow and focus the thinking process, bringing it more under intentional control. In kind, journaling helps us organize and express our thoughts in a more cogent manner.
However, there is another path to mastering one’s thinking that is sometimes overlooked. Asking one’s self questions. When presented with this option, some folks say, “I already do.” However, the kind of self-questioning most of us engage in focuses on making decisions or deciphering experiences that don’t make sense, as in “Should I do X or Y?” and “Why did this happen?” There is a different sort of self-inquiry called “motivational questioning.” This method uses open-ended inquiries to focus and motivate the mind, a process that, in turn, gradually asserts more control over one’s thought processes.
What sort of questions? Well, the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, has created motivational questions that are specific to the cognitive challenges posed by the pandemic. Here are some examples:
- What am I grateful for today?
- Who am I checking in on or connecting with today?
- What expectations of “normal” am I letting go of today?
- How am I getting outside today?
- How am I moving my body today?
- What beauty am I either creating, cultivating, or inviting in today?
Pondering one or more of these questions, particularly at the start of the day, creates an organizing principle for one’s ongoing thought process. One’s thinking becomes more focused, intentional and less prone to distraction. It’s almost like having that so-called earworm song in your head that won’t go away, but, in this case, it’s actually a mindworm of sorts.
Practiced often, these questions, and other open-ended ones of the same ilk, gradually discipline the mind to focus on specific ideas and actions instead of intrusive cognitive background noise. If you craft your own questions, make sure they are just that—questions, not commands. Telling ourselves we should focus on finding beauty in our lives, for instance, engenders inner resistance, while asking ourselves to do so feels more like an invitation than an order.
There is much in the world we can’t master. But, as Marcus Aurelius told us: “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find great strength.”
For more, visit philipchard.com.
Philip Chard's Out of My Mind column is sponsored by AllWriters' Workplace & Workshop, which offers online classes in all genres and abilities of creative writing, as well as coaching and editing services. You can read past columns here.
