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Since the election, I’ve visited with many clients and friends deeply distressed about the outcome. Reviewing some social media sites (excluding X, which has become a cesspool), I’ve read droves of messages expressing despair, outrage and existential angst. Some folks claim they are unable to banish these dark thoughts from their minds, instead spinning in obsessive cognitive loops, losing sleep and writhing with worry.
I get it. For the first few days after the election, I found myself in a similar emotional tailspin. Catastrophic thoughts populated my psyche. Fears for our country, my children and grandchildren, the environment and the downtrodden swirled through my consciousness like stress drones, pecking away at any semblance of peace and acceptance. Then, one morning, I awoke with a singular thought in my head. Enough.
I recalled an adage from nurse Elizabeth Kenny who said, “He who angers you conquers you.” Likewise, those who provoke us to despair or any other unsettling emotion also subdue and control us. I have no intention of letting this deeply disturbed man hold hostage my mind, mood or behavior. So, I hatched a plan and put it in action. The basic elements are as follows:
- For the time being, I’m adhering to a self-imposed political news blackout. Sure, I see the occasional headline, but that’s as far as it goes. There’s nothing to gain by exposing myself to persistent emotional triggering. This won’t be a permanent “see no evil” approach, but it remains in place until my intuition says otherwise.
- When I find myself catastrophizing about what lies ahead, I remember that attempting to predict the future puts me way out over my mental skies. Nobody knows what will happen with this felon in the White House, so when I start acting like I do, it’s a recipe for unnecessary trepidation. Whether events actually unfold in ways worse or better than I imagine, it remains imagination. My projections are hypotheses driven by fear, not predictive facts.
- What’s more, I remind myself that, like most of us, my span of control is very limited. There’s nothing I can do directly about what the election has wrought. At the same time, I reassure myself that, soon enough, I’ll get back in the political fight, choosing battles where I can make a difference, even if in a small way.
- Finally, when he-who-shall-not-be-named does inhabit my psyche, the visit is short-lived. If I allow him to occupy my thoughts, then he not only won the election, he also won control of my mindset. That’s not going to happen. In its own way, casting out his presence is an act of resistance. Occupying the oval office does not give him license to occupy my psyche. Get thee behind me.
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I’m not asserting that my recipe for staying sane is right for everyone. Mental individuality is a real thing, so one person’s psychological survival strategy is not necessarily the ticket for others. However, the core message here may well prove universal.
Remain in charge of your own mindset and emotions. To abdicate this capacity to someone you don’t even have a direct relationship with is to relinquish your own agency, your own power. He’s not worth it. You are. So, kick him to the curb of your psyche.
Stay in your own life.
For more, visit philipchard.com.
