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“Dad, what makes something a swear word instead of just a regular word?” my young son asked as I sized up a putt for miniature golf.
“Good question,” I replied, missing the putt.
I am rarely stumped by queries from adults anymore, but kids still throw some wonderful cognitive curves. After contemplating his question, I determined that, basically, swear words fall into four primary categories:
- Words that refer to parts of our bodies many consider either shameful or very private.
- Words that define products of bodily excretion.
- Words (non-medical ones) that indicate certain sexual acts.
- Words that carry profane religious meaning, such as those derived from damnation, hell, and so on, and that invoke the name of the supreme being "in vain," as we say.
Of course, there are some creative combinations that overlap these categories, fostering hybrid curses of various sorts. However, most vulgarities in the English language fit into one of these groupings.
What the Frick?
Now, some people who are not willing to swear (at least in public) resort to euphemisms like “fricking” or “effing” instead of the F word. This is basically chickening out. We all know what these stand for.
What is mystifying is why these terms, exclusive of so many others, are considered socially improper and, to many, offensive. Of course, if swearing wasn't considered offensive, it wouldn't be so popular and enjoyable. After all, we do it for effect.
Anyway, as far as I can tell, curse-like words that don't fit into those four categories generally don't qualify as bona fide cussing. For instance, in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, the term "Holy wah!" is used by the natives as a swear-like exclamation. For me, it ranks right up there with "gosh" on the impact scale and isn't considered offensive, even in polite company.
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Now, why can't “Holy wah!” be as vile as any of George Carlin's infamous "words you can't say on television?” Because it doesn't refer to body parts, excretion, sexual acts or blasphemy.
Marginally Swearing
Consider the marginal swear word “ass,” for instance. It qualifies as cursing because, at some level in our consciousness, we regard our posteriors as “dirty.” If that wasn't so, then “elbow” could be just as objectionable.
It is curious, however, when only one of two words that refer to the same thing is considered profane. What is the difference between saying “coitus,” for example, and saying the F word? Why is one considered acceptable while the other is viewed as vulgar?
As my son recognized, that's an oddity.
Research suggests swearing is good for us, to a point. It’s a way to let go of anger, fear or other high intensity emotions. Which is one argument for not trying to suppress it too much. As Mark Twain said, “Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”
However, those who cuss like a firehose lose this palliative effect. Their brain gets habituated to constant profanity and checks out. Consider one of those motor mouth comedians who says the F word a dozen times in each sentence. Fairly rapidly the mind stops reacting.
Can’t Damn
Cursing is much more prevalent and socially acceptable today than during my youth. When I was a kid, media censorship was imposed largely based on profanities. You couldn’t even say “damn” on TV or radio, let alone anything more profane.
The first time I recall swearing was as a high school freshman if you can believe it. Neither my parents nor siblings swore. My inaugural swear word was fairly innocuous by modern standards, but my mother was in earshot and gave me quite the tongue lashing. I learned to be more prudent about who to swear around which, oddly enough, proved an important social skill later in life.
Each of us harbors our own unspoken set of rules about when and with whom swearing is acceptable. Many also adhere to a limited range of swear words, meaning there are some they decline to use. I have several of those.
Bottom line? Uttering profanities, in moderation, supports mental health. Some of you may not like that, but dems da facts.
I swear by them.
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