Photo via Cate Le Bon - Bandcamp
Cate Le Bon
Cate Le Bon
As human beings, we often view things like heartbreak and trauma through the lens of erasure. A person, thing, or moment is lost forever, never to be reclaimed. The grief of such loss is often followed by shame: we do not want others to see the pain we are experiencing. We try to erase, in other words, our response to the initial episode of obliteration.
One of the most compelling aspects of Michaelangelo Dying, the latest record from Welsh musician Cate Le Bon, is that it provides another way to both think about and process loss. The album’s 10 tracks are meant to chronicle the end of an intense romantic relationship. “I’m leaving someone I love,” Le Bon mournfully sings on album closer “I Know What’s Nice,” “I can’t breathe for someone I love.” Yet Le Bon does not shy away from such overwhelming pain. Instead, she leans in, using Michaelangelo Dying to make heartbreak visible—and even productive.
“I suppose this is the first time I feel like I’ve made a record in real time,” explains Le Bon. For her, the act of recording Michaelangelo Dying became “a good conduit for the pain and for the healing” that one hopes for after the end of a relationship. “I think with this record especially,” continues Le Bon, “there’s no narrative, there’s no declarations - I really don’t come to any conclusions. It’s really just me, flailing around in this kind of heartache and trying to find clarity on some different things.”
Lyrical Truth Bombs
There are such moments of clarity, as evident on standout track “Heaven is no Feeling,” where Le Bon reaches the painful conclusion that “it takes more time than you’d ever give up.” Yet equally important as such lyrical truth bombs is the way such tracks feel. “I really just went with feeling,” notes Le Bon, “and there were times when I knew the feeling was right even if I didn’t quite understand what I’d written. I knew it felt right.” The songs on Michaelangelo Dying feel melancholic, but they also feel defiant and, at times, joyful. Throughout the album, Le Bon relishes creating something of beauty from the aftermath of something ugly.
This act of creation, as Le Bon understands, is initially “something completely private.” But then the songs become “forward-facing,” as the composer shares her compositions with an audience. For Le Bon, the act of performing these songs gives them “a very different energy, a different character.” The repetition inherent in performance allows Le Bon to see her trauma “from a different standpoint” night after night. What is seen can then be dealt with; the concert hall thus becomes another place for Le Bon to address, and to move on from, her pain.
And Le Bon is intent on moving forward. For her, the act of recording an album is predicated on “creating conditions where you can completely lose yourself and just make something that is an expression of what you’re feeling.” On her current album, Le Bon successfully counters the annihilation of heartbreak by meticulously documenting what that process felt like for her. One gets the sense that the follow up to Michaelangelo Dying will find Le Bon moving past this specific moment, pushing her craft in new and unexpected directions.
Cate Le Bon performs on January 23 at Vivarium.
